Barion Firesteed( thoughts of a fighter)

[jan]

Entry by Barion


  My fears grow as i spoke to Shelu today *sighs*  ...she met the soulmother again yesterday.
  She was in a party with me and others ,but she left without saying and died before we could find her .
  Im afraid she doesnt have much soul left now ..she says shell be alright , staying safe from now on...
  but she said that before , and still she got killed .
  I told her that our souls are one ..and that shes entiteled to my soul aswell, i intend to give her some of my soul.
  I need to find the soulmother to do that ,but eventho its dabngerous ,i will look for her .
  Some good came out of this mess ...I asked her to marry me now ..and she said yes .
  We will plan the date as soon as possible ,and have a celebration for some friends i think .
  I dont want a big party ,im not feeling that it would suit us in the way we are now.

[jan]

Entry by Barion

  This has been the worst week yet.....i found the body of Sy'ravenne two days back.
  She was lying there ,with her sword in her hand,covered in blood,face down on the ground....
  I thought she fell,and wanted to pick her up ,but ....she fell alright....for the last time she fell...
  fighting to her last breath ,covered in blood ..both her own and her opponents,like a warrior should.
  One of the people i called friend has left this life to go to the next.......if there is any.
  She was e fierce fighter ,relentless chopping down enemies with her sword ,not always
  smart in battle (due to her battle rage i think) but never giving up  nomatter what the odds were.
 She was Shelu's best friend ,they told each-other everything that happend to them.
  I think Shelu told her she liked me even before she revealed her feelings to me .
 Ravenne was so happy for us when she heard we were going to marry,that she offered herself as
 a weddingpresent.
 She always lived on the edge ,but that seemed to have changed for the better when she met Annun.
 Ravenne seemed to get calmer and thoughtful in battle and became less wild and eager .
 I brought her body to Himlad ,then i went to Hlint to see if i could find Annun or Ravennes mother Nim.
 Nim has only been here a short time now , she came to find Ravenne to be with her  think.
 Nim's husband was killed a year ago by giants that attacked the tribe,and now her daughter died......
 it must be hard on her ,but she keeps the apearence up that she is alright.....i'll keep an eye on her.
 Then theres Annun..poor Annun....she lost her lover and her friend ...they just had bought a farm .
 When i had found Annun ,i had to do the hardest thing i ever have done...tell the news of Ravennes death...
 Nim came walking in town and joined us just as i had told Annun the bad news.....they had never met before....
 I introduced them to each-other and i was pleased to see that they could comfort each-other in a way.
 Annun will take care of the funeral,next to their farm in Dregar i think,shell wait for all that are invited
 before she will begin with it ...
 Finding Ravenne has unnerved me again ...Shelu could be the next body i'll find .......
 Shelu......i havent seen her yet ....i think she has heard about Ravenne by now ...i need to find her .

   Barion kneels down and sents a prayer to the sky over mists forrest

  Goodbye and good hunting with the rest of your tribe my friend ..........
  Hopefully your reunited with your father in the next life........
  I promis i will keep an eye on your mother ,helping her if she needs it .....
  I was honored to know you and to have fought with you by my side .....
  Farewell Sy'ravenne...until we meet in the next life.....keep room free for me.

[jan]

New entry by Barion


  The week that was bad ,got even badder then it already was..............Ayla has gone to the other world aswell.
  Ayla.....one of the first people i met when send here ....the first person to help and teach me....
  She was the first person to give me council on how to act and how to work here .....
  I collected skeleton knuckels for her,anf she would make them into potions.
  For every 6 knuckels i think it was ,she gave me one potion,when i asked her howmany she needed
  for one potion , she said : i need 5 knuckels for one potion,the rest i save up to make potions for
  newcomers ,giving them a change to get me more knuckels to make more potions to give away.
  Ayla was a treasure to this world and will be missed by many.
  Then there is Geir *smiles faintly*, he was to marry Ayla..but has a wake for her instead.
  Geir was the second one to help me here on this world,running around to deliver post,showing
  me more of the suroundings of this world and letting me see how great this world is.
  He must be broken by the news of Ayla's passing,but i guess he is one of those that deal with their
  feelings in private .
  I was there when Ayla passed away for the last time,not there when she died ,but there where she died.
  I fell just before her i think,in the haven mines.
  With a group,we investigated the mines,because on the way back up earlier we were attacked by all sort of ogres.
  I was one of the persons to insist to go back in......fearing for Shelu's life if the ogres would leave the mine....
  i now wish i didn't*sighs* maybe Ayla would still be alive now......
  When we entered ,we were attacked again by all sorts of ogres ...we beat the first wave....
  Going further in,we were attacked again ...we fought like crazie to get them back...but in one way or another ..
  When i fell..i heard some-one from the rear call out for help....then it all went black and i found myself in the void.
  Later i heard that a mage had passed us and attacked the rear,killing Ayla and Gro..the wife of Skarp.
  It was then that i heard Ayla was passing on to the next world....i was shocked and couldent do much.
 In front of the mines stood a strange man..he wanted us to enlist in his army..
  Enlist....bah...he wasnt even trying to help us ..he just stood there waiting..the coward...
  I have been drinking alot to try and numb the feeling of pain...i think i had an argument with Angela later-on...
  but i'm not sure ..its all misty what happend later ..i think i went back to the mine..to get revenge...
  I'm not sure i did ..but my head and muscels hurt..so i must have done something...
  It's the second friend i lose in three day's...if this goes on ..i'm still scared that Shelu might be the next....
  Now i need to sober up and try to get my feelings in check..i'm no use to any-one in the state i'm in now...
 

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  I've soberd up now .....reading back what i wrote earlier doesnt make me proud...more ashamed...
  i let my hurt and feelings of unjustice take over ...and i'm not proud of it ...i saw more then one body on the battlefield
  ....i should be able to handle it better..but i failed miserebly.
  The only good thing that came out of this ,is that i'm looking for a god that might suit for me to follow.
  Oh...and i got a bit stronger again...but that doesnt seem to be importand now.....its hours before the wake
  they are going to hold for Ayla..it was suppost to be her and Geirs wedding.....
  I'll go to the wake and stay as quite as i can...i embarrest myself enough for a while...
  Had a talk with Angela...she doesnt hold my behavior against me she said...i hope its true ...
  i couldnt hold it against her if she did ..i acted like a moron..a drunk moron...i'll never drink alcohol again.
  Now i wll prepare myself for the wake...i'm looking up to it ...but i have to go..i owe it to Ayla.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 I had a talk with Rolf the other day , i told him i was feeling responcible for Aylas death.
 He,as many others ,told me that it wasnt my fault ,the difference was that he explained why it wasnt.
 He asked me a simple question ,that opend my eyes....: Where were you when the other pieces from Ayla's
 soul were ripped from her ?.....i then realised that i was witnes and in my mind instigator of her last death.
 But that i wasnt the instigator on any of her previus deaths,so i cant be responsible for her leaving this world.
 This talk has cleared a lot of problems from my mind , problems i created myself but had help to salve.
 Rolf is becoming a realy good friend , im glad i know some-one like him ,he always seems to be in control .
 I finaly found my helmet back*grins* i should have known it would be in the last crate ,it always is .
 Most stop writing now, i have a feeling the war is getting nearer to the finale,and i need a lot more training if
 i want to play a part in the battles to come.
 We help the alliance as much as we can , but it seems there is much more to do...
 Shelu is still alive and well*smiles* im realy glad that she stays safe as much as possible,it a burden i nolonger have to carry.
 She is getting good at crafting i think ,i get her asmuch as possible the things she needs to train and learn,
 so that she can make lots of wonderous things ..im realy proud of her ...probably time to tell her i am...havent done that a lot lately.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 Had a few nice adventures the last few days...nothing special..if you consider springing people out of jail nothing special.
 The Alliance asked us to spring two guys out of Velensk jail,because they were held for a crime they didnt comit.
 After a lot of planning we did just that ...getting them out of jail and Velensk,back to Windhawk who was waiting in Hamp.
 A week later we helped Windhawk and the Alliance once more , we brought back the lost..or stowed away..
 brother of the current lord of Velensk to Hlint...next step will be to get him to his brother in Velensk i think.
 
 Shelu and i went out with a group to get some topazes from Direwood caves...it started out well.....
 Then i saw something that froze my blood........Shelu's grave.....i never saw her fall....i lost her in battle....
 she was clobbert by ogres......and i did nothing.....(shivers vigerously while writing this down)
 Thank Aeridin the Soulmother left her alone this time....she is still with me but a bit more scared of death just
 as i am more scared of losing her on such a ...normaly...easy trip as getting topazes.
 The last few days i am questioning people about gods and their rules of following them,as i think it is maybe time
 for me to get myself aligned with a god to find more peace and goals to live by.
 This is not something i go about lightly tho...i need to be sure i can live up to the demants of a god or goddes
 before i can try if that god or goddes feels like the right one for me to follow.
 Something has changed these last days...we ...Abi and Angela and me went on a trip with Mith....
 Mith seemed to have a deathwish or something...or atleast i think he behaved in that way...and i left them
 after Mith bought the services of a mercenary to help him and the rest further.
 That trip has made me decide not to go on trips with Mith anymore..if he wants to get killed then let him die
 alone....not with the people trying to help him...but it seems that when he is in a bad mood,he dont care
 about others safety...if he gets my friends killed by doing the same thing as he did that day,ill get him.
 Life with Shelu is getting better and better *grins* we have the most wonderful intimit moment.
 Maybe i even can get her pregnant...that would be great...a child made with love...its the only thing we
 dont have yet..and the wedding ..we need to plan it soon...i fear we will not have long before the war realy starts.
 A lot of new people have come to Hlint,yesterday i met an elven girl named Ash..she looks just like Shelu.
 She reminds me of her alot ...i only was with her a few hours ..showing her how to take care of the undead in
 Broken forrest...but i realy liked her around.
 I hope to see her soon...dont know why..but i would like to run around with her some more.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  Not much to report realy ...only thing to report would be that next week im getting married to Shelu*smiles *
  Had a lot of days training and collecting topazes, and went on a little trip with my friends to Dregar .
  Dont know why , but it seems i lose my temper too easy too often ...must have something to do with
  the wedding being soon now , and the tencion i feel towards it .
  Cant get it out of my mind that Ayla and Geir were suppost to get married when she died.
  Both Ayla ans Sy'ravenne fell for the last time when they were happy with their lives, i hope
  Shelu and i will be spared that faith .
  My temper brought me to the soulmother once again *sighs*
  I had a talk to her about her taking Shelu's soul pieces so easely,but she just laught and told me
  to mind my own buisness.
  Sitting here alone to reflect on my death is making me understand that in the end,every-one is alone.
  Looking on the bright side you could say that i finaly had the time to write in this journal again.
  I have decided that this journal will be open to all to read after i had my final date with the soulmother.
  Maybe some-one else can read it and have a laugh on my expence or learn something from the mistakes i made.
  That,and my peace of mind keep me writing in this journal.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  Yesterday was another bad day....i met the soulmother and blamed myself ....Shelu laught right in my face,
  when i told what mistake i made ....nim just stood there and grinned .....only Rylok understood how i felt i think.
  It all began when i met Shelu in Krandor ....i was buying things for the house , and when i came out the store
  i saw Shelu walking by as a ghost*sighs*
  After the shock of her being killed , my anger took over ....i found out that she had fallen in the Krandor crypts.
  She tried to help me with spells i think ..but im not sure ...my anger made things blurry....
  With my sword drawn i rushed in the crypts to get revenge....only my sword....i died in seconds..and met the soulmother.
  When walking back to our graves ..i finaly realised what i did ...i made the mistake that costs lives...
  I went in with-out armor or any defensive spells, not even my shield in my hand ....i was foolish and stupid.
  We met Nim and Rylok on the way to Krandor ...and i blurred out what i had done...Shelu laught at me ...
  right in my face she laught....i felt like exploding ..but i kept my cool and walked off to Krandor.
  With the right preperations it was easy to get to our graves*sighs deep* if only ....
  When we were out ,i tried to explane to Shelu why i was mad at myself...i dont think she understood.
  Being a fighter as i am ,it is important not to let anything get in the way of sound thoughts in a battle or
  just before one, because if we ...the frontline...fall, the rest is easy pickings for the ones that attacked in the first place.
  Knowing that we can only learn from it by being hard on ourselves,thats just what i did ...being hard on myself.
  Shelu only wanted to cheer me up i think , but thats not what i needed..i hope one day shell understand.
  The strangest thing was that i was more hurt by her laughing then the death itself...
  Maybe its because im afraid of the wedding or something...i am not in control over my nerves anymore
  since we disided to set the date ...i feel scared and happy at the same time....dont know why..but i do.
  I can only hope that that feeling will go away once we are married ...if not it might be better if i put down my blade.
  Hopefully this will work out fine...but im not sure ...

  Who am i kidding? i know it will be alright !!!!*this line is repeated numerous times as-if to convince himself its true*

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  These are the worst times one could have *sighs crying*Shelu is no more*ink has made the letters to get blurred*
  After hiding from all the last days , i had a talk with my friends and with Reventage today,the day we were suppost
  to be married*cries and stops writing for a while,burying his head in his arms*
  *after a few minutes he returns to his journal*
  I didnt want to listen to them at first...but in the end i know they are right...how hard it may be...i have to go on...
  Shelu wouldnt want me to stop living...i had to promiss her a few weeks back that i would go on if this happend.
  *some lines that where here are completely wiped out by the tears shed on them*


  They are right..i have to cherish the memory of all the adventures we had,every kiss we ever gave each-other
  will be burned in my soul and every talk we had i will remember.......

  With the time left to me i'll have to be the man she wanted me to be...i will see if i can get her things back to make
  one of the rooms in the house a place were all that want to,can go to remember her and think of her .....
 
  After the talk with Reventage ,i went to the tempel of Aeridin and prayed....im going to see if its possible to
  be a follower of Aeridin ..his teachings are good and there is much wisdom in the things he teaches.

  *this is the prayer he spoke at the tempel of Aeridin in the sielwood forrest*


   Aeridin......in all your wisdom you have decided that it was time to call your cleric and my love to your side..
   Please be good to her, she was and still is a loyal follower of your teachings....
   Let her know i will always love and miss her ...and i hope we are reunited if its my time to go...

   Shelu U'alarune ...my love and mate ....i'll try to live on ...but it won't be easy.....
   I am going to do the best i can to become the man you wanted me to be.....
   I will never stop loving you and will never forget what we had...i miss you ..and im feeling alone at times..
   but the memory of you will help me to go on...E ceela aey Shelu U'alarune ...
   E ceela aey sa neanana....( i will love you untill the end of time)...
   I never will forget the time i told you i wanted a child with you ...i told you :
   E amillan il nyerecw ameanir aey....(i want to have a child with you)...you answerd:Elka ela?...(only one?)...
   This kind of memories will keep me up and running ..the way you always saw the good in everything...
   The way you loved me and held me...comforted me and made me smile....keep an eye on me from above..
   Your "wondefull human " will make you proud ...im time we will meet again....i wont rush it ...
   But i can hardly wait to see you radiant as ever ....goodbye my love ....think of me from time to time...

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  I can't seem to find the time lately to write in this journal,i will have to make time i think.

  My whole life is upside down now ...i grew closer to Ireth during our talks about me being left behind...
  But the love that is growing in me can not be answered, she has Jet and is realy happy with him....
  When i met up with the other woman i already knew and like , we had a talk ...she is thinking she's in
  love with some-one ...some-one i know probably she said...it seems that Ash isnt going to answer my love ...
  My love for another woman will never be as deep as my love for Shelu was and still is...but i'm lonely now...
  Cant help but remember the story Reventage told me.....it was about a person that was pure love and found the pure love
  in another ...but there can only be one at the time of them....so while teaching the new one ...the old one dies...
  It sounds strange writing this down , so i think im missing something in the story that she told me...
  But the thing i did remember was that the one left behind was to take the place of the one that left....
  Maybe i should try to be more like Shelu was..loving and caring for all that she met ...maybe i should love again.
 
  Because of all that is happening around me,i dont feel very comfortable around Hlint anymore...
  My training requires more challange then i can find here,but it seems to be impossible to form a nicely
  balanced party to go to other continents here.
  Maybe it would be better to move to another place....leave all behind and try to start anew...but still...
  Leaving all my friends is not what i want...i dont want to go and leave them ...if only i could find peace again...
  When i died a few days back,i felt a pressence...it stopped me from going into the void...while i was wondering what
  was happening i...i knew what the pressence was ...it felt like Shelu...i recogniced her ...dont ask me how,but i did.
  A short time later ,it turned out she was right *smiles* i was ressurected by a clerrick...she must have known this..
  When i returned to life,i was smiling and felt at peace...not with my life,but with her being in a better world.
  She must be watching over me..and i'm afraid she doesnt like what she sees...i'm more busy trying to save the
  relation Ireth has with Jet , then i am working on getting my own life back in order.
 
  *he sits back in the house and reads the things back that he has writen *

  Reading this back,i think im right ...i may need to start anew...ill let my dissision be made by the next couple of weeks...
  If nothing chances i will try and get a camp on Dregar...i think my training there will help me improve more then staying.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

  Having made a few desicions,i will write them down for others to keep track of my motives once this journal will be
  open for public view.

  After being training mostly alone or with close friends,i have desided that my way of life has to change a bit.

  The biggest change will be,that the symbol on my shield,will be more then just that,a symbol.
  After talking to a lot of different followers of most gods,i have decided that there is only one god i would offer
  my pledge to and that will be Aeridin.
  A lot of self exploration and two talks,one with Geir and one with Elladan,have made me come to this desicion.
  I was afraid that Aeridin would deny me for all the wrong things i have done in the past,but both Geir and Elladan
  told me that the service to a god starts the moment you feel him or her in your hart.
  After thinking about this,i came to the conclusion that Aeridin is guiding me longer then i can remember,
  helping me to protect people and help others.
  The one thing to do now is to pray to Aeridin and hopefully He will accept me as one of his followers,i hope that He will
  give some sort of sign,so i know if He will accept me.


  The second change is not that big,but will be harder to uphold i think.
  From now on ,i will keep my feelings about others to myself,a thing i'm not used to towards my friends.
  The feelings of love i have towards Ireth,would only cause trouble if i would reveal them and i don't want
  to risk the friendship we have now so i will keep them to myself.
 
  There are a lot of new people in Hlint now a days and i find it refreshing to see that they all remind me of the time i came here.
  Somehow it helped me refocus to the important things in life,like training and helping and most important of all..living.
  After i finished the room i was making for Shelu,and the time i spent reflecting on our life together,i think i'm ready to
  realy start living and loving again altho i will never love any-one as i did and still do my soulmate.
  Another good thing that is happening is that many old and dear friends have found the time to come to town oncemore.
  I like talking to them and hearing how they have been the last times,and am pleased hat they all have learned a lot.
  Because of my self inflickted solitude from time to time,i am now getting better at making weapons.
  Now i have a small chance that if i'm working iron,i realy make something usefull*grins wide*
 
  Another thing that happend this week has made me happy.
  I was standing in Hlint talking when Rolf walked past me and asked me if i would like to come along to Firesteep mountans.
  Ofcourse i wanted that and i was honored that he asked me*smiles*
 With a group we later went there,and i was honored again when they lined me up as frontline fighter.
  With help of the magic of Rolf and a wizard named Rashar i was able to stay in the frontline and do my job well.
  We went deep into the mountains to mine adamantium and had to fight very powerfull guards to get it.
  The only two things that went not so good,was the unfortuned death of Varka( who was raised by Rolf) and the
  fact that we didn't get too much adamantium,but for the rest it was a succesfull trip.
  The rest of the group consisted of my other friends Ael,Angela and Abi and we worked together as a good team.
  I later found out that besides Ael,the others are in a group called The bloody hand and go out on a regular base together.
  Maybe i can join them on more occasions....i'l have to ask if that is possible..because i realy liked the change this time.
 
  Love, i know you keep an eye on me and i know you like the changes i make in my life now.
  Also i know that you don't want me to live my life alone,so i will try to get back in the game of living and loving.
  Remember that i will never be able to love another as i love you,and that we will meet again .

[jan]

New entry by Barion


 The last few days were horrible...i was in Fort Llast when there was a request to investigate on the tremors around town.
 Ofcourse i wanted to help..so with a large group we went investigating...
 After somethings had happend,we ended up in a cave with umberhulks that were guarding something.
 We as a group decided to go down in the caves,destroy the umberhulks as we walked deeper,to find out what they were
 guarding.
 When we finaly came to the last room deep in the cave,we had trouble opening the door as even Abi couldnt do it .
 Some of the group went to explore more while some of us stayed there and kept trying to open it.
 As i heard the door was trapped,i positioned myself in a matter to shield Jil and her unborn child with my body.
 Nothing realy went wrong there so it wasn't needed,but i promissed Daren and Jil on a previous trip that i would look
 after her,so i did .
 After a while we were called by Ael,they had found another door and opened it,most of us followed Ael to the other door.
 On entering the room,i saw a mindflayer and attacked with-out thinking...*sighs*...the moment i hit it....i knew....
 In my eagerness to destroy all evil i met ...i killed the mindflayer with one stroke of my sword..*sighs*..and then i saw...
 I could not believe myself....my mind went blank...and i must have been standing there for a long time...hurting...praying..


 I KILLED A CHILD.....a mindflayer child,but still....a child.....*shivers all over his body while writing*
 
 When i came to my sences again,the rest seemed to be in conversation with the elder mindflayer present there.
 I do not know what was talked about,since my mind was shielded with a spell,but i later heard that he aswell was
 troubled by the tremors , just as we were.
 Most of us dicided to leave,but a few stayed behind..Sahala who has a hatred towards mindflayers,attacked the thing.
 And the rest there present helped and destroyed the thing before i got back....
 I had left with the others *sighs*
 When i followed the others and caught up with them,i was hurt in a way i can't describe....
 I overheard Angela saying to Varka"I will not travel with childkillers"meaning me....she saw the killing,and imedietly judge me...
 I thought i had build up some credit..but i guess i didn't...*sighs*..and i cant even blame her for it...she is right,i killed a child.
 After we went to the druidgrove in the High forrest,we desided that we need the help of others to find the source of the tremors.
 When i left,i bumped in to Varka...i talked to him a bit ..and i asked him to talk to Angela for me..but i dont know if it will help.
 I have desided that i will not go talk to her..all the problems we had before ,i was always the one making up
 Now it's time she takes her own responsability,and come to me if she wants to solve this...*sighs*...maybe she'll do ..maybe not
 I nolonger want to be the one always trying to solve things ...if she is mature enough she will come to me for a change and
 take the responsability for her own actions and sayings and not wait for others to come to her to solve it,if thats possible.
 
 
 Eventho bad things happend,something good happend too....*smiles thinking*....as i met Ash and went traveling with her.
 She asked me if i could help her get silk from the sielwood and ofcourse i helped,after that we went to the cave there
 and cleared it of creatures .
 When i asked her if she needed anything there, she said no..i asked her why we went there then,and she told me that
 she hates goblinoid creatures.
 I told her that i didn't usualy kill for no reason,and that i would go out to rest in the vale.
 She went with me and after the rest i asked her if she wanted to see the places i like.
 She smiled and told me that she would like that,so we went on a little tour of the lands*smiles*
 First i took her to Lar..i realy like the view when standing there on the high hills and look down*grins*
 She told me that she went there herself,and if she made it alive,she stood there to think and clear her mind.
 After we eaten something i made for her,we went to the inn to rest.
 On the way back through the grey peaks,i showed her another place i go to to calm down and think.
 When we stood there*smiles* we started talking and i finaly gathered the nerve to tell her i realy like her.
 While i was not sure of her feelings,it was the nicest thing i heard then..she realy likes me too*smiles*
 I dont know if she only likes me or loves me,but i'm happy either way.
 If anything between us will happen,then it will in time as i'm not going to rush her or my feelings*sighs*
 I hope for the best tho...i realy like her more then is good for a lonely man and so i hope she loves me.
 It is fun to run around with her to places i havent been in a while*smiles* i told her it is good to have her around
 anywere i go and she smiled and blushed but didnt say anything...
 My love life is like a circus lately,i love more women at the same time but are not intimitly involved with any of them.
 As i am a man not dating more then one,i guess the first one that wil answer my love will be the one for me.
 I know i will be happy with any-one of them,since the three of them are similar in more then one ways.
 All three are gentle and nice to talk to to..but only Ash is not involved with some one else..at least i dont know it.
 Ireth is involved with Jet,and i consider them both as good friends.
 And Ferrit is involved with Kyle,and is going to marry him soon,and i see them both as friends too.
 So in order for me to start something with either Ireth or Ferrit,their relation should first be ended and since they are both
 happy now,i dont hope that either will end..not if i can help it ...
 Now i'm going to lay low for a while,and wait for the things to come..i,m more unsure then ever about Aeridin accepting me
 *sighs* but i hope that in His wisdom He will forgive me for taking the life of a child...maybe he sees it as others do...
 a favor to humanity for as it would be alive,who knows howmany would have fallen to it,as Pendar said,
 "The food of a mindflayer is in its name ..minds...you cant teach them tro eat fruit..no matter how young they are..
 they eat minds....every meal is an innocents life ended ..you did the world a favor by killing it"
 I only hoped that it would feel that way *sighs*i cant help but feeling bad over the whole thing...a child*sighs*
 
 *After sitting and thinking for along time,he puts his journal away and stands up and walks to his bed*
 *While the sleep gets him in his grasp,he shakes and shudders........dreaming of the sight of a dead child at his feet*

[jan]

New entry by Barion


 I'm tired lately...it seems i dont sleep good or something..i'm waking up more tired then i was getting to bed.
 I had a small talk with Angela...she said she was sorry and shouldnt have said the things she said,and asked me
 to forgive her *smiles*
 Ofcourse i forgave her ..she's my friend ..and she was right ..if only i could forgive myself...*sighs*
 
 I havent seen Ash the last days,i hope i didnt scare her off by saying i like her a lot...i guess time will tell.
 
 I was honoured today by a letter sent to me by Geir,the Raven trading company wants me to join them*smiles*
 I did sent a letter back to Geir,explaining that i'm not as good as he might think but that im working on my skills hard.
 
 I'll start praying to Aeridin to ask him if he will accept me as a follower...i hope he does...if not..i wont follow another god
 or goddes..because i realy feel that only Aeridin is the god for me...i hope for the best.

 I have to remind myself that i need to train and not only craft*grins*i like crafting,but it sure takes a lot of time to get better.
 Not to mention the gathering of the things i need *sighs* i seem to have a bad luck streak lately...

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 It's been a while since i last wrote something..I've been busy crafting*smiles* and living.
 My weaponmaking is going better and better ,i now can make iron weapons with relative ease.
 Things around Hlint are a bit slow lately and it gave me time to do some other things.
 
 I never expected to be able to fall in love as deep as i am now*smiles* but love is stronger then
 most things in life,it's an unstopable force that makes or breakes you...*smiles*

 Since i was crafting a lot,i havent seen Ash much lately...until yesterday*smiles*
 We met in Hlint and as usual i asked her if she wanted to do something with me *grins*
 She said "Sure .. 'she smiled and told me that she likes doing things with me .
 I asked her what mood she was in ...fighting or talking ..and she told me that when i'm around
 she doesnt realy care what we do ...*smiles*
 She told me that we could go talking so i told her that i would love that,but only if she realy likes and trust me
 "Okay...then we go talk" she replied ..and we went to the Rangers vale to talk to each-other.
 When she asked me what i wanted to talk about,i told her that i wanted to know everything about her...
 "because i realy like you,and maybe even like you too much" i told her*grins*
 She answered "You cant like some-one too much "and she smiled looking at me ..
 I told her that a love un-answered hurts more then a deadly wound ....she smiled...and told me that a love
 answered is a dream come true ....and while looking at me she told me that we HAVE a dream come true
 At first i didnt understand...or couldnt believe my luck...so i asked her if she loves me ...*smiles*
 She does ...she told me that she loves me ..ME..for my good hart..and my kind manners ..and even my looks.
 Thinking back ...i could have known earlier ...we walked out of Hlint to the Vale hand in hand *smiles*
 As if doing that all the time i reached for her hand when we started going there and she took my hand as if
 she always does that,it felt so ...natural that i didnt think anything about it then ...*grins*
 We kissed after our talk ..i told her what happend in my life ..for the most part...and she told me her life story
 or at least what she was willing to share ...i guess we will talk more and get to understand each-other more
 while doing so...i feel calm and happy when she is around ....she gives new meaning to my life ...
 I told her about Shelu....and that i think Shelu would like her and would aprove of us going together...
 She didnt pull away ..she accepted that i had a love like Shelu before her..and said that she was happy.
 
 I knew some things about her already ..but found out some new things too*smiles*
 Ash realy doesnt like rooms,it gives her a feeling of being closed in and she doesnt realy like water...
 she rather has her feet on solid ground *grins*

 Many things happend the last week...people long dead returned to us ....no one knows why...but it happens.
 Ayla returned .... i met her in Haven mines ..i was caught off guard and fainted ... we talked and she realy is back
 She doesnt know how or why ...but she's glad to be back...she hasnt seen Geir yet ..i dont know how he
 will react ..i tried imagening Shelu coming back ...but i dont think i could take it ...i would be happy..
 but also would know that the chance is there that iwould lose her again..i wouldnt survive that ...*sighs*
 For some reason i know she knows that ...and wont return ....she rather have me living a happy life with Ash
 then risking me dying over her if she would come back and die again.....she watches me from above,and
 knows what happens to me *smiles*i feel her presence now and then...and feel that shes happy .
 
 My training is going slowly lately...my crafting is realy time consuming...but i will be able to make my
 own blade one day *smiles* and  expect a lot of it if i finaly made it ...
 I did get stronger over the last week ..i now  think i'm strong enough to get a heavier armor ...and a new blade..
 The armor wont be a problem ...the Raven Company has a realy good armormakr in the person of Skarp...
 He told me that he would try to make a platinum full plate for me ..and i've been gathering platinum eversince.
 The blade..*sighs* that might be difficult to obtain...i now need a adamantium one ..it's better in balance and
 easier to handle i think ..but adamantium is hard to get ....deep in Firesteep mountains are vains..
 I'm not able to get there alone ..not even with a small group i think ..only the realy strong and prepared ones
 survive there ..i went there once with Rolf..Rashar..Varka..Abi and Angela..we had a tough time then.
 Maybe i can buy a adamantium blade *grins* money is not a problem,the undead in Broken have made me rich.
 
 I stil didnt try to get aproved by Aeridin ...it may be fear for not being accepted...or something else..i dont know
 This dicision is too important to take with-out feeling absolutely sure ...so i'll wait till i am sure .

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 It realy has been a while since i last wrote something*sighs*
 Reading back what i have written,makes me realise lot of things have changed.
 My lovelife has been completely changed,and the rest of my life is ready for a big improvement.
 Ash and i have broken up....completely my doing..and i hurted her *sighs*
 I did not realise that for her time has a different meaning then it has for me ...
 For her a week is just a small amount of time...for me it is a long time ...
 We were not seeing each-other in weeks and it was bothering me much...
 To her i gues it was just a small time and she thought it was okay...
 After a few weeks i couldnt cope with it nomore and ended our relation*sighs*
 
 To my surprice, i was swept of my feet like a love sick puppy a few weeks later...
 Sabrissia is her name,a very nice and kind wizardess,new to these parts but a force already
 beginning to grow.
 We met and we started talking ...she dropped the bait that she didnt see much of the lands yet
 And i took it line,hook and sinker*smiles* i offered to take her and some others along on my way to
 get topazes .
 We got to Hampshire and i needed bandages,so we went to buy them there ...then something happend...
 While i was in the bank getting gold for the bandages,Sabrissia blew up the door of the bank*grins*
 The clerk thought he was beeing robbed and called for the guards wich were there realy fast.
 They asked what happend,and the clerk told them a young woman blew up the door to rob him .
 As i was traveling with the group,i felt it as my responsibility to try and clear thing up,so i tried...
 While i was talking to the guards, Sabrissia came back and was taken the moment she entered.
 After some pleading i managed to let her pay for the door and no charges were made.
 
 We then went to the cave...all went well,and the ogres were easely defeded.
 Then something caught my eyes...a demon..an ugly demon in the cave....
 I told the rest o run and confronted the demon to give them time to get out ...
 I did hurt it ..hurt it a lot even*sighs* but not enough to kill it ...i killed me.
 
 What happend next i only know for hearsay,but i do not doubt its the truth.
 They came back to collect my body and bring it to Velensk....
 On their way there they met Rolf and one of his friends....
 Rolf went to the cave first to kill the thing with help of Mist and then came looking for us *smiles*
 He recogniced me and raised me ...i heard from the others that he said he raised me because im his friend
 I thanked him and was worried about the demon running around but he told me he killed or sended it back
 As always after defeat *sighs* i doubted my skills and strenght,but Rolf told me that very few man could
 have hurted the monster in the way i did*smiles bright*
 We had some demons come into Velensk and we destroyed them with ease,after wich Rolf had to go.
 
 Sabrissia and i were left in the end , so we started talking more *grins*
 I knew then that i was taken by her,the feeling i had when she had to go can only be described as pain...
 We met a couple more times and i started to show her around nice places a bit,when she talked to me..
 When i took her to look at my house she barged into every room...
 She asked me were i slept so i showed her...then she barged into the room i build for Shelu....
 I yelled stop...but she was already in....i followed her in and she asked me who the woman on the
 portrets was.....
 I sat her down and told her my tale of loss and grief*sighs smiling*
 As i told her and showed her the things i saved,she kept looking to me and cried for me...
 She was so sweet *sighs* she was so pure*smiles* my hart smelted and i was lost...lost for the rest
 of the women out there..I only would belong to her from then on...
 She held me when i was finished and she told me we could help each-other and kissed me softly...
 When my lust took over she pulled back...she never had been with a man ...and we decided to take it slow.
 We went down and drank some ale*grins* we both were not able to withstand he alcohol..
 Nothing further happend and she stayed and fell asleep in my arms...
 
 The next couple of days things were strange and hurting*sighs* as rumors started to emerge....
 I was beeing the talk of town ...they wondered who i would love that day as the day started..
 Asif i would have more then one woman ...I thought they knew me ...guess not all know me *sighs*
 Rumors about Sabrissia started to turn up aswell...she was said to have an other relation*sighs*
 I tried to find out and got help from my friends doing that ...she was living in the house of an elf
 named Lilsacalala....When i saw her again i asked her about it.
 She told me that they are only friends,and she wanted me ..
 We had a wonderfull night together that i will never forget...
 We fell asleep together in my bed after i had given her a key to my house...she will move in soon.
 The next day as i woke up...she was already gone...and i feared she went to Lilly (as she calls herself now)
 I didnt see her for a few days and kept myself busy with gathering things for the company..
  After that my mind has still got a blank spot,for i do not know much ...but somethings i have done and said
 are not what you call nice or kind...*sighs*
 
 In Tyr and in Ran i found two persons i can talk to ...so i did ...Ran took it upto her to talk to Sabrissia...
 I dont know what she said,but it worked...*smiles*
 Yesterday Sabrissia came to me ...she needed to talk to me...i feared the worsed..but was afraid for nothing
 She told me what happend , and i wont write it here for it is something no-one needs to know...
 She assured me she loves only me and told me that she returned to her faith...
 She also told me that the blackness in her heard was gone and that i was responsible for both those things.
 According to her i am her strenght in life and magic and i am her link to her goddes*smiles*
 Finaly it seems i found a love that will stay and love me and that wants to see me and be near me most of the time
 
 After i wrote this,as a sign of trust and love i have lended her my journal....so that she can learn more about me..
 So she can easely get to know me ..my weaknesses and dreams and failures and loss is all documented inhere.
 She will know what and who i am *smiles* and she will read things she never would suspect i think..
 I am sure it will help us get closer together..and i will read her journal as she has suggested to get to know
 her better and understand her *grins*
 
 Tomorow will be a new day full of love and kindness...i am happy again ...thanks to my Sabris*smiles*

[jan]

*Barion reads what he last has writen and smiles*

 "Tsk tsk...You realy took a long time to give it back Sab *grins*Guess it was good reading"
 *He takes his quill and thinks about what to write ,*sighs* "so much has happend ...
 "Too much for me to remember preciesly...I'll just make some small notes and if i remember more i'll fill in the blancs"
 
 -Got Alek in his rightfull place as Lord of Fort Velensk....
 - Defended Hlint for days against demons......
 -Gathered more things for the company then any other has done before i think*grins*.....
 -Joined a group named The Bloody Hands.......
 -Went to Firesteep with the group to get Adamantium.....


 *now some things that happend recently**smiles*
 
 
 I went to a meeting with others ,we were invited by some one named Call..undead hunter of Toran.
 The meeting was about all that is happening now and that it might be linked together...
 Three stories were told that i remember ,Rolf's,Ran's and sofia's.
 Rolf told us of a trip onwitch he found a group of Aeridinites bodies.
 Ran told us of bodies mutulated by demons and two chests and a tablet she has found.
 Sofia told us of an island with a pyramide .

 Call told us of some paintings that were found...The things i remember about that is the description.
 Two paintings...one with a diamond>>>key>>>pyramide.
 And one with a scroll>>>key>>>pyramide.
 She told us that asfar as she knew,all was conectd to a demi-lich named Michidil.
 She also told us that the vampires Quantum has hunted down were under his command or something.
 We gathered our things and set out find the boat Sofia and her party used to get to the island with
 the pyramide to see if it could bring us there.
 We found the ship,but the captain told us he couldnt get to the island with-out his navigator.
 It turned out that his navigator,a gnome, was captured and held for ransom on the dragon isles.
 We went out to free him ,wich we did after some reasonable battle ,and we retuned him to the captain.
 He needed to make a new compas to find the island,so we waited there.
 After he made the compas,we traveled to the island with the pyramide.
 We went over the island to find a fey we knew should live there ,but we never found it.
 We did find a pyramide however and we sought a way in...
 I dont know how they found the way in,i was still looking for the fey,but somehow they managed
 to find the way so we all went in.
 Inside we had to solve four riddles before we could get to the main chamber ....Lia and Mith
 seemed to have their own agenda...they never listend to any of us and just did what they wanted...*sighs*
 Their actions resulted in two deaths for Geir and the loss of many a weapon and shield..including mine....
 Lia decided that she didnt have to wait for the rest and wandered off.....she came back running...
 With-out warning or anything....she led rustmosters right into our group...
 Luckely i had my spare weapon with me ..not as good as my adamantium blade,but still i got something to fight
 with if needed.
 We ended up in a room with one chest and two things that looked like cirkels....
 A stone there said that one was for the king of the hill..if not placed something magic in the chest
 there is no way back..or something like that ..
 I put a spare ring in the chest and stood on the place for the king of the hill....
 Some-one else did something and i was ported ....there were three followers of Aeridin on the otherside.
 They told me they were caught here for a long time now ...
 Some others were ported to where i was ...and suddenly the light re-appeared...we quickly walked into the light
 and were ported again ..this room didnt have anything in it ..or so i thought....
 Q found a lever ...there was a sign telling that if you pulled your weight you could meet the gatekeeper...
 We pulled the lever and went in a portal...on the other side we found the keeper..
 He told us that there was a way to get to the Plane of Chaos ..
 We went there to find Mechidil and look for the witch that was suppost to be held there...
 The first we met was Mechidil...he asked for something but we didnt know what he meant...
 When he attacked,we killed him quickly...Mith told us he wasnt dead ..that dying here only meant being
 away for a while...i was surpriced he knew that but stayed quiet....
 The next thing we met was some kind of demon...he asked for his flail....
 I never knew we had it ...but we ...or better Mith ..did have it.
 He got it from Elladan i later heard....never knew a paladin of Aeridin would hide information
 crucial to a thing undertaken by others....but Elladan did....the flail was a relic of Aeridin i think.
 After killing the thing , we went on searching for the witch...i understood why when i remembered
 the things Skarp and Geir were talking about earlier.....she had kidnapped Skarps son....
 We found the witch ...right after we fought two or three Balors....
 She asked if we had what she wanted...then Lia turned out to truely have a different agenda....
 She held up a spoon.....she told the witch it was her key out...and the witch complied it truely was...
 Lia demanded that Skarp was to see his son , and the witch wanted the spoon...
 They made a trade ..Skarps son for the spoon ...Lia wispered to be ready to us...
 If you snap your fingers inthere and tell where you want to go, you can go there if only you
 did have put something magical in the chest i mentioned earlier.
 She traded the spoon for Skarps son,because the witch couldnt be killed inthere ...she would simply
 regenerate in time.
 We got out ....with Skarps son Erik*smiles* but we lost track of the witch...*sighs deep*
 I hope Lia will find her and do what she has to do....as for Mith....*his face gets grim and he looks angry as he
 writes about Mith*
 He had his own agenda too it seems.....he took the book Mechidil had dropped and refuses to destroy it
 or give it to some-one else....
 On top of that ...he bluntly refused to give Elladan his flail back...hes nothing more then a filthy thief in my eyes
 I'll help Elladan get his belongings back ...even if it means i have to kill Mith.
 The fact that i dont like him and he doesnt like me,makes it assumable that i have to do just that anyway...
 When i walked towards him to get the flail from him,he threatened to kill me....
 He thinks he can hide behind his magic .....well...i got some tricks for him...*grins wide*


 Then the thing that worries me the most..Sab*sighs*
 Not that things between us arent going good ..but she is being stalked or harrased by a lich ....
 As it turns out ,it was or is his former teacher ...he wants her ..i dont know for what ..but i wont let that happen.
 I talked to a lot of persons about this,and an army is willing to help if needed*smiles* My friends and her friends.
 I dont see her much lately ...she is working together with miss Matilda (a protecter of the weave) to get back in the tower in Spellguard.
 She used to live there ...eleven years ago...she lost everything she had in the ocupation of Spellguard by the Drow.
 It seems that the magic used to save her has put her in the future..hmmm...must be very powerfull magic indeed.
 Miss Matilda has accepted her as her "something"witch means that she will look out for her and help her as much as she can *smiles*
 Things have been acwar for me from time to time...i was traveling with Ran so much that all thought we were a couple.
 I was more pleased then annoyed to hear that,but got a bit tired explaining that it wasnt the case..i sure hope Trysk comes back soon.
 
 Abi went through a difficult time,looks like Brisbane (girlfriend of Elladan)has disided that Abi cant do or say anything right,and she attacks
 her verbaly every chance she gets.
 It even went to the point that Abi was disapeared..we looked for her but could not find her...
 A bird dropped me a letter from her ,telling me were she was and that she wanted only me to say goodbye....
 Last drop for Abi was a situation inwitch none of her "so called friends" as she put it ,helped her when attacked in this matter .
 I told her to talk to Angela first and that if i had been there i would have helped her..she smiled and told me that she knew that.
 She gave me a message for Angela and i went to deliver that ..i found her togther with Ireth among others.
 Once i had given Angela the message,Ireth started that it wasnt her fault,that she was hurt and that therefor she wasnt
 the one to blame ....she was bussy and didnt see or hear what happend ..and so on ....
 Having troubles with my own feeling at the moment ,i lashed out to her verbaly*sighs*
 I told her that the world didnt turn about her alone ,that there are others with feelings and hurts .
 I got so mad that at one point i was afraid i could not control myself...so i left.
 I told her "Goodbye Ireth" and turned and walked away...went down Haven mines to calm down and went home.
 I dont think Ireth understood why i was mad and we havent had a normal talk since....so much for friendship i guess.
 Sometimes i miss our talks and jokes,but i wont go to her to sort things out...
 
 Last thing that happend made me very proud ...
 I was invited by Varka to help get a thing calle a stargem or something.
 It is needed to make a anti-potion against a curse that has befallen Gloin and a tribe of dwarves.
 There were a lot of people that came to help,and in the end we were succesfull*smiles*
 I died,but i didnt mind...the task i had to do was succesfull(blocked a door so others could heal up and join the fight again )and
 all others lived.
 I saw things i never have seen before( and dont hope to see again soon) and the golems we met seemed to be resistant to my best attack*sighs*
 
 The gathering of things for the company is taking too much time..it interfears with my training...
 Speeking about the company ...the house in Hlint is remodelt..it looks like a truely rich tradepost now.
 There are some problems going on in the company now...
 Angela wants us to join forces with Ozy to help rebuild the lands that are destroyed by the war...
 The idear of rebuilding,we all agree on beeing important.
 How ever ..i dont trust Ozy and want to discuss this with all before i bring out a vote...
 I did the suggestion that Angela should try to get Ozy over to discuss it with all of us and that if he has nothing to hide,
 i did not see a reason why he shouldnt.
 He refuses to come and discuss it,so i guess my reservations were correct.
 If the dicision is pushed thriugh with out us all debating over it , i have a tough decision to make myself...
 Stay with the Company and help some-one i dont trust...or leave...it will be a hard decision,but one i'll have to take i guess.
 
 I asked Sab to marry me *grins* and she said yes*smiles*as soon as we have sorted out this thing with her former teacher
 we will start planning the wedding.
 *looks up from his journal and sees that it is getting late*"i better go home and guard my love...tomorow is another day"

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 Normal week sofar,collected skins for Abi and plat for her too.
 Jacc is going to make her things for her bow and needs plat for that .
 Sab and i are doing fine ,the "something"she is of Matilda , is called "ward".
 Matilda and Sab are gathering things for a ceremony that will get Sab back in the service of Lucinda or something.
 Sab is wearing a neckless Matilda made and it seems to work well.
 It should keep the vampire that bit her at bay and the dreams should lessen at least.
 Not much happend lately or it should be that i went to a raffle organiced by Kobal.
 In this way he wants to get coins together to rebuild a dwarven guildhall i think it was.
 We all bought lotterynumbers and he had a realy big gnomish cilinder that turned and drew numbers*smiles*
 Altho my first four choices of prices were already gone,i got some nice things*grins*
 I won a Diamond and Cobalt reinforced clothing.....
 I cant use any of those,so i'll ask Geir if he can make a ring for Sab with the diamond and give her the
 clothes and   the ring as weddingpresent.
 Well....duty calls and i need to pick up my weapon crafting again*sighs*
 Some of us dont get things for the company,they buy them ...not that i mind,but they buy it with things others have
 to make....
 Only reason to do that i think is to train hard ...but the ones making the things lose time to train because they have
 to craft the items again...
 I hope that the crafting will soon be done so that i can train hard and long again *looks to his belly*i realy could
 use it*sighs*

[jan]

Barion,clearly almost exhausted,comes into his house after weeks of being away and slumps down on the cushons in his living.
  He looks around if he sees Sabris,but she must be off on an adventure of her own because he cant find her in the house.
  With a tired arm he gets his journal out and thinks "lets write a bit and maybe Sab comes home before i fall asleep"

 New entry by Barion

 Finaly home again....these last weeks were hard and tough , but i....no...WE...did a lot of good for the world.

 It started with a note in the Wild Surge Inn....Gotak was asking for help with a task....having met Gotak numerous times,
 i know it must have been hard for him to ask help...i thought to myself"If he asks for help,then i think he realy needs it"
 So i decided to go and help him if he would accept my help,witch he did.
 Together with a few others,among them Abi and Kobal,we went to some dwarven halls.....
 The dwarves there were under siege by drow...the threat of the drow was coming from two sides,outside and inside....
 The drow had taken most of the halls and we think they were regrouping for a final attack on the dwarves led by King Bartoc Stonebrow.
 We made a desperate plan to retake atleast one hall,becuase in that hall is the elevator that leads further down to were the drow were.
 Well...plan.....it meant charge the ones guarding the hall more or less...it turned out almost a disaster....most of the dwarves
 and our small group fell when just headlong charging in....we were lucky that a few clericks remained back and revived us,or it would
 have ended there and then.....
 Back in safety,we changed plans...main objective became disabling the elevator and fight with causion one at a time if possible getting there.
 With this new plan we made it to the elevator and succeeded in our objective to destroy it,afterwich we cleared the rest of the hall from guards left behind.
 Now the dwarves have time to regain their strenght and get enough people together to once and forall deal with the drow under their feet.
 The King,who fought valiantly besides us,was gratefull for our help and extended us his gratitude by proclaiming that all of us present there
 will always be welkom in his halls and always will be treated as friends from that day on*smiles tiredly*
 Gotak had some debt or something else outstanding with this clan,and he was forgiven anything he had done,dont know what excactly and dont want to
 know if he wont tell,and there seemed to drop a burden of his shoulders.
 He made the vow that he will be there once the final assault on the drow will take place and that it will be his new goal in life.
 King Stonebrow accepted his vow and told him that he will keep him to it*grins* guess we are going to see a new and improved Gotak from now on..
 The King also spoke out the hope that all of us could be there for te final assault and i dont know about the rest,but i'll try to be there.

 Next thing i went into when getting back to Hlint,came in about the same way....Varka told me he needed help and i imedietly replied that he had mine.
 It turned out that a clan called the Ulgrid was infected by something and in need of an antidote...Gloin was infected aswell i was told....
 We set out to get the ingredients with haste....it was hard and the ingredients were not easy to find or collect....
 All the time we were watched by something it seemed....Varka called it "the eye"and told that it was an eye send by Eon to spy on us and that he was
 looking for a way to stop us*shivers slightly*
 Before i joined them they had gathered some of the ingredients and we sat off to find the Stargem first ,wich we found after long battles that were to
 horible to describe,s i wont, but as stated in my entry above "we were succesfull".
 After we got the gem,we had to bring the ingredients to the dwarves.....the healer we needed to find was in the Greypeak mountains.
 We went there by means of a secret underground way,wich i wont describe due to obvius reasons,and met the healer named Marten.
 He worked for many hours and in the end gave us the drink he made saying"i think i did it right"...
 We then had to bring the potion to the Ulgrid,the berhagen cave was our goal....
 The trip to Velensk went smooth,we traveld by boots from Leilon,but then the trouble began....
 An eye had found us .....they knew we had to get to the cave in Berhagen mountains and would try to stop us...
 As i guarded the outside of the gates at Velensk,the rest prepared for heavy battle....
 We went into the mountains and were attacked by golems ....more kinds then i had ever seen attacked us and in one of the last encounters
 before we reached Shoufal,i fell*sighs*....thanks to Vigg,i was raised and able to continue....
 From the moment i was raised,i desided that i would stay close to Vigg to protect the cauldron he was carrying with the potion with my life.
 After Shoufal we were attacked time and time again by the same golems we had encountered in the mountains...
 The fifth or sixth attack,we got help from some dwarves....after fighting a way to the cave,we knew we made it.
 We were led to the King of the Ulgrid by one of the dwarves,at the time we ..or atleast some of us....didnt know who he was and were
 wondered ith all we passed to nod or bow to him.
 The King was sceptic......he told us to leave while his healers would give the potion to the sick and that we ould be called if we were needed.
 The same dwarf led us back to a hall and there we found out he was a general !!!!*grins wide*
 Not just a general mind you but one very high up in the hierarchy of the dwarfs following Vorax.
 After a few hours we were called to the King again....this time he wasnt so ...hmmm....unfriendly is the only word that comes to mind.
 He told us that the cure we brought worked better then anything else they tried and that the ones that had gotten it seemed to get stronger again.
 After that he he offered us to stay and use dinner with him and his wife to thank us*smiles*ofcourse we accepted.
 We got the oppertunity to bathe and we got some clothes to be presentable and had a wonderfull evening with the King and his wife and all that
 were there.*grins wide and looks to his belly"guess it wasnt to good for my figure...blast ..those dwarves know how to make a meal"
 We stayed a few days and when we departed the King gave us the same gratitude as King Stonbrow and told us that we are welkom in his clans halls
 whenever we are near.
 *smiles tiredly and thinks aloud"Two dwarven clans i now count as my friends....guess i'm doing sometghing right"

 Barion puts his journal next to him on the ground and looks around sleepily"Sab....*sighs* Hope to see you soon my love ..."
 His words trail off and he falls into a deep undisturbed sleep.

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 A quick entry i can make ..nothing more i'm afraid ..companywork and training is too important to take too long off.
 
 Have been working and collecting things for the company again these weeks....and went on the occasional adventure.
 At the moment i'm caught up in something that is important to succesfully complete...Mistone ...no...Layonara is threatend
 to be invaded by Slaad.....there is an old protecting seal that keeps the Slaad away,that is somehow weakend...
 With a group we are trying to find things to strenghten the seal again and we are on the right track we think...
 The ordeal keeps me so bussy that i dont see Sab much*sighs* But what would the world be like if invaded by Slaad?...
 There are times we see eachother,there are times we write eachother* touches a note kept close to his hart and smiles*
 We will make up soon for lost times ...looking around me for the last couple of years ,i have seen the happines of others..
 Jill and Daren became parents ...recently Jacc and Miss Dorena too.....Ireth had a child ...and Skarp found his son again...
 Sometimes i'm wandering how it would be to have a child with Sab ....would it look like me ...or her ...or a mixture of both..
 Would the child follow his or her father...or mother....or both....*sighs*  Wouldnt matter realy....if the child would be healthy it
 wouldnt matter what it chose to be*smiles*
 I did had some time around Hlint lately...good thing there were more and we all had time to do something inbetween jobs too..
 It turned out that Hlint was to be attacked....no random attack ..but an organiced attack...
 I know it must sound strange,but the attack was led by a minotaur...or jumping cow as i like to call those*grins*
 it is very rare that one of those posseses leading qualities but there was this one , so we had to deal with it quickly.
 We gathered who ever had time and in the end we stopped the attack...the people were filled with joy and we were hauled into town
 as true hero's( didnt do more then our jobs realy ...but who cares ...the people need some-one to believe in ...)

[jan]

New entry by Barion

 *hastely scribbled into the journal,asif having haste to get it done*

 Had time to take a little sidetrip...wish i haddent realy...*sighs*
 We were called to search for a missing boat...
 We went out and were ourself devoured by the sea...we were lucky ...we lived...
 When we went to examen the cave we landed in.we had to fight lots of Golems ...
 At the end we found a cave ..looked more like a home to me,all comfort was there...
 As we were looking around and slaying some more golems and some undead,i stumbled upon a book ...*sighs deep*
 This book ...i wished i never found it ....it was writen in what i later heard "infernal"
 I tried to read it but couldnt ,so i asked if anyone else there could .....BIG MISTAKE.....
 Almost from the moment i mentioned the book,people started to argue about it...one group wanted to destroy it ...
 the other take it with us to study.....Ireth( who else?) had the biggest mouth ...together with Elladan....
 I had given the book to Angela , who in return gave it to Abi ,to let her shadow try to read it.....
 After some bickering i got tired of it and asked the book back...got in an argument with Ireth...spoke some harsh words...
 and solved the discussion by burning the book*sighs* it gave off the smell of burning flesh....
 When resting earlier,i already slept badly with nightmares...*sighs*....seemed the book had triggered something...
 Right after the burning i told Elladan that i burned the book because i wanted it ..not because the group wanted it...
 Ireth had to get in again and said something like "Yes Barion ..dont think we as a group made that dicision...."
 She is getting things too high in her head ...she'll lose everyone if she keeps going like this...
 The moment she meets others ,the things talked about must have either to do with her...or she had something
 worse happening to her...
 It's getting annoying and i try to see her as little as possible...just like others i know.
 I remember what drove Abi away now ...it was Brisbane accusing her of being a drama queen...guess Brisbane
 hasnt seen Ireth in while....
 After the argument ,i....i....felt children crying...in my hart and in my head...i was caught offguard and fell to my
 knees..crying...
 All this has re-opend the wound i thought was closed forgood ...the mindflayer child is haunting my dreams
 again.....
 *sighs* Guess it will go away in time ...time ...it always takes time.....*sighs deep and puts the journal away*


 "Have to double my effords to try and save the world.....only way i know to pay for what i did....."