Barion Firesteed( thoughts of a fighter)

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

Busy and strangly enough calming and happy times are once again my share.

Busy because i have agreed to help out as freelance weaponcrafter for a guild that mostly exists of friends i made over the last years.
I offered them my services for a very low price,because i agree with what they are doing ang fully support their idears of doing buisness.
I also have agreed to show the members around and help them collect some materials they alone can not get easely.
Because i myself am currently looking at some options to do something with my skills,i did tell them i dont know howlong i would be able to keep supporting them by making weapons but that i would notify them if something came up to give them time to use my skills to gain a decent stock of weapons.

Having Sa'kura's mother in the house has helped me greatly to improve my elven and now i am able to speek it fluently,she realy liked teaching me i think.
The downside of her in the house was the restriction Sa and i had in our lovelife, it greatly influenced our private moments but none of us want her to leave.
*grins thinking back and happily starts writing again*
We did however found a way that we can be alone and away from everyone once again...i surpriced Sa'kura yesterday with something she could never expect.
We were in Pranzis,going to Q's house to use his portal when i stopped her in her tracks*grins*

"Wait love "i said ...and she stopped and looked wondering to me ..not knowing why i stopped her .
We talked a bit about the thing i am trying to do and then i surpriced her greatly "i wanted to buy you a house right here as weddingpresent dear "
She looked stunned "That is too much .....you need the money for what you are planning to do"*smiles*"I like our house in Haven ..i dont want to move"
I told her"Its only about 155.000 coins dear ...its only money ...besides ...if we need it we can always sell it again" She looked even more stunned then
I grinned and told her "Tie down your ox dearest ....we go to the bank and you are going to buy a house"That was the first time i seen her silenced in a while
*laughs as he pictures her face before his eyes and how she looked to him stunned and strangly excited at the same time*
"are you realy sure love ?" That was the first thing she could say after a few minutes studying my face"Yes i am "i simply said and waited for her to tie down the ox
We then went to the realestateagent to see if the house that i wanted to buy in the first place was still for sale  and luckely it still was.
We went to the bank and grinning i gave her the money to buy the house"You realy are sure ? "She asked again..i just smiled and said "Yep"
I took her to the agent again and she hesitated again ,looking to me in wonder and disbelieve almost, i left her to buy a teleporting portal and listend from there....She seemed to gather her nerves and slowly came to buy the house *grins* She looked so overwhelmed and happy and feeling funny,only that sight alone made the buying of the house worth it for me .
We went to the house and i carried her over the threshold ..asif we just got married and entering our new house as newly wed...i felt her shiver and shaking a little with anticipation as we entered the house.
As i was in the house next door for more then once and the houses there all look the same i could show her around and tell her where she could find certain rooms and gave her some idears of how we can use the rooms ...after the showing around i placed a portal near the door so we have our own way in and out of Dregar now with out having to rely on other peoples kindness to let us use their portal.
The neighbour will be surpriced i think if he finds out what my plans are for the house*grins*but that is of later concern.....right now i'm tired and extremely relaxed after being able to have once again a perfect night with my love in my arms and no one around. I hope and know that we both will have many more nights like that and since we agreed to keep the second house a secret to others for a while *grins* I guess they will ask themselves where we went if they cant find us for a while .

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

*Barion reads in his journal and ponders a bit,he picks up the quill and gets to the desk and sits down sighing a bit*
"Guess i have to write it down ...even mistakes should be made public for others to learn from..."

This entry i dreaded to make,but still i will be honest to all that might read it and spill the beans so to say.
The last few weeks werent the luckiest for me or those i travelt with,resulting in a lot of dead friends and some of them visited by the soulmother and i myself visited twice in a short time.My end is nearing if i cant find a way to get some more defence from the soulmother,life is ironic indeed...finaly Sa'kura and i have set a date for the wedding and here i go loosing most of my soulstrands in adventures that go well in the beginning but end realy bad .

I'll have to take it slow from now on i think,still got some time ...and the first death wont kill me right out ,but still....somuch to do ..friends needing me and hopefully a wedding and a life with my beloved wife and healthy children in the near future.
Two things of importance to report besides the failures in adventuring.
1: Made another Blade of the Dragonslayer.
2: Need to contact Q on something that recently happend.

1: Made a blade for Jard ,he supplied the materials needed and aided with spells and i made him a fresh new blade....i am carefull just WHO i make these blades for and if i half dont trust them i wont ....but Jard beeing a fellow Rofireinite and a good man made me decide that for him i would try.

2:There have happend a few things Q should know .....the Emerald of Beryl is on the survace and me and some others escorted him from Hlint to Hampshire were he went to a hidden tempel of Beryl....on our way we were attacked by undead....not some losely wandering ones,but some organiced and realy working together undead forces...the first time was easy and they were disposed of fast...the second time we first found an ambushed caravan and all in it were killed....as we were examening the remains my eye caught movement further on....undead walking under a flagg of Corath gathered and blocked the road behind us ....this group had mages and a priest amongst it ...after we prepared i went for the priest ..and my using of Torans stardust saved my life as i ran through the deadspells that were thrown to me ....what i didnt know,was that the group with the emerald was attacked from behind and fighting for their lives ..after disposing of everything in my way  i turned and came in time to help get the rest of the undead to their knees ....luckily the emerald was still safe and no casualties were our share.We took the bodies of the dead merchants to Hampshire and after saying goodbye to the Emerald i escorted some back to Hlint.My money reserves are growing again and the guild i am helping is getting settled and starts to get known ,for that i am happy and i wish them all the luck and pleasure they can have from helping people in their own way .I'll keep helping out since i didnt have any contact over the things i was trying to accomplish ..but i'm sure that in time things will get clearer.

One more thing to mention..Sa'kura's mother has sought me out and talked to me ...it was a talk about her ..Sa'kura ..her family and myself ....she wants me to keep Sa'kura from seeking out her mothers family...i told her i'll do my best ...but i couldnt promiss that Sa would listen to me..for the first time mom gave a kind of a blessing to me getting married to Sa...she said i was a good influence on her daughter and it was obvius we both love each other deeply ..she smiled and told me that that pleased her and said she trusted me to be a good partner for her daughter.

Fear and anticipation are fighting inside of me ..fear for my life and a wedding ...anticipation for a wedding that is in my eyes long overdue...as Sa'kura said to others before ...in our thoughts we are already married....this wedding is to show our friends and the rest of the world what we already know ...we share a love and mutual respect for each other and are proud of the one we love....for the law there is a cerimony needed ...we already know and accepted in our hearts that we belong together.

*he puts the journal down on Sa'kura's side of the bed and knows he will face her wrath once she reads he lost some more of his precious lifepieces*

[jan]

*New entry bu Barion*

*He sits in the bedroom and looks to Sa'kura,her weddingdress is draped over the chest on his side of the bed and his suit is lying as an old cloth on her side on the floor,reminding of the afterwedding private party they held*

Finaly we did it,we married *smiles*mister and misses Firesteed *grins to himself* Sa'kura Firesteed ..i could repeat that a thousant times and still be happy and excited to say it.

The wedding was truely an event ,most we know came,some couldnt make it and left word that they were sorry that they were not able to be there .
When we headed out to Gnolls Watch , Hlint looked empty from adventurers,mostly you cant walk onehundred meters with out tripping over those,but the night of our wedding the town looked abandonend...most were at the site of the wedding already as we later saw *smiles proudly*
Once we got there i nearly paniked and thought my fears of another wedding not going to happen seemed to come true ....the caterer we hired...no ..the caterer that Q hired was nowhere to be found ...nothing was set up for the wedding and everything was still empty and dark..i wondered off to stand on the cliff and looked down for a short time ...thoughts of murder and revenge were fighting at that moment in my mind ...forcing myself to focus on the wedding stopped those thoughts and Q told me he would contact the firm to find out what was wrong and if it still could be set up .
The next couple of hours i lived in a state of disbelieve and wonder ...Q found another member of the firm ....she did a wonderfull job in a very short time for the things that had to be set up and i will be forever gratefull to her ...after that the wedding could start and again i lived through it in a daze ...Sa'kura was wearing a dress made by Nyyana ....never have i seen a more gourges creature then my own Sa'kura in that dress....all the guests and myself fell quiet at the sight of her walking up to me and Q *smiles and looks to Sa'kura*I swear that even the flaggs that were raised for different gods stopped making sound as she walked there ...radient and smiling happily she floated as on air to us and i was so stunned that the greating i had in mind for was completely forgotten at first.
Q held a ceremony that only could be done by him as the close friend he is...well chosen words and spoken from the heart,,,i knew that i had asked the right one for the cerimony ...but not even i could suspect that he would be that good *smiles thinking of Q *Due to unexpected circumstances Cray couldnt be there ,so my friend had to do it all alone ...and a marvelous job he did .
After a small speech he gave the word to us ...and i went first ..i told Sa the following or something very close to it *smiles*

"Before all those here and before every god that might be watching,I pledge my undying love and my life to you...You who lifted me from the deep slopes i was in and brought back light to my life ....I am yours "

After that i turned to the guests and told all lady's that i would nolonger be available *grins* Trying to ease the tencion a bit

Then Sa told me i was her life ...and most important ..i am her heart *smiles*

The wedding was closed by a kiss ..and the mages and wizards started a firework that i'm sure is not often seen *grins*
It took me a long time to get them in the fort to enjoy the food and drinks ...most the food Sa had made herself and i bought lots of juices from Nyyana who realy had worked very hard to get them done in time *smiles thankfully thinking of Nyya*

After all were gone ( and that was long after the wedding *grins ) I took Sa home and we had our private party ...it felt strange to call her Mrs.Firesteed....
but she took me by the hand and guided me to heaven *smiles and looks to her sleeping soundly and looking happy*
She realy needs the rest she gets now ..Mothers condition is getting worse and worse ..i hope we can keep her around for another while ...but it seems she is saying goodbye and after she saw that her daughter will be in good hands her condition is rapidly getting worse and i dont think she will be with us much longer *sighs*How cruel life can be ...first the thrill and excitement of the wedding ...only to be followed by a burial soon ....

*he closes his journal and goes back to the bed his wife is sleeping in and kisses her on the forehead*
"I'll go see how mom is doing love ...i'll be back soon"

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*Barion walks through the house in Haven and checks if materials and recourses are there,he checks the chests and cabinets and thinks to himself"If anything goes wrong atleast Sa has plenty of things to keep her busy for a while"*
*He grabs his quill and starts to write *

Just a few days left before we go and try to free the ones that were sold as slaves,the Underdark will be were we go ...and danger lurks there around every corner .
If i make it through that ,Quantum and Varka need help so i will go with them ,Q to get the assignment for hopefully the last task that can make him head of The Shining Hand and Varka didnt specify why he needs me ...but for my friends i will be there ..if i'm alive.....*he sighs deep*
Sa needs gold and silver ingots for her rings so i started to fill a chest in Haft Lake with those,the dangers in getting them are there .every mistake will be payed for ..but sitting at home and doing nothing just isnt me ...i travel a lot with Rain,Sonya,Serissa and lately with a Toran cleric named Dora .
I like them all very much and realy love the way Dora looks and acts,Her armor is just like mine ..and so are her thoughts at times .
Normaly i blame myself if things go wrong because i feel i have failed then ,it seems Dora is just like me in that ..she blames herself if she falls and is depressed as i am after falling.
Serissa and Quantum finaly are together *smiles*slowly their romance will grow i think ..they both decerve happiness.
I'm still trying to find a way to outsmart the soulmother ..but i dont know if that will work since nothing springs to mind that might be helpfull.
If anything happens and i should not return,*sighs* Use this journal to claim all my possesions that i leave behind my love,i hope it will be over years and years ...but i wanted to have writen it down before i go to the Underdark.

Sa'kura ,i love you with more then just my heart but i cant deny cries for help and stay at home safe ,i need to do what i have always done ,meaning aid the one that needs help if its for a good cause ...if that means my life is in danger..so be it ...if i would change then i think i would be better off dead anyway.
Know that all i have gathered is for you with a few exceptions that i promissed to others if the time comes,the chest with memeries upstairs i want devided between Nyyana and Serissa ...Nyyana knows what i promissed her and give the things Serissa can use to her after the unthinkable might have happend.

Dont worry to much my love,nothing has changed since our last talk ...if i can help it i will be around for another twenty years ..but i just feel the need to handle this while things still can be handled in a normal way ...dont want you to find a letter later .

I'll be training and focussing on Dregar to clear my mind and get ready to go to the Underdark ...hope to see you there before i leave *smiles* If not i'll come home to say goodbye myself .

*he closes his journal and puts it on her pillow* I know you'll be mad for me talking about my aproching end my love ..but i have to make sure everything is dealt with before it happens "

*he uses the houseportal and goes to Pranzis , takes in a large amount of bandages and goes hunting giants to get ready for a trip he fears but at the same time is looking forward too*

[jan]

*Barion walks into the bedroom looking furious,he grabs his journal and starts to read at the beginning,calming down a bit while reading*
*Finaly he stops reading and starts to stare out the window,trying to get his thoughts in order and ready to write the next entry*
"Better i write this when i'm calm "* he mumbles*"Althou nothing will change my feelings in this its better if i formulate it good "
*he sight a few times to steady himself and starts writing*

*New entry by Barion*

The trip is was so worried about was a complete succes,we fought our way to the gates of the drowcity and Ael and Sahala went in with the coins we gathered and bought our friends freedom with it.
Less then 20.000 was payed for them when they were enslaved,we payed about 600.000 for their freedom,a small price for two lives if you ask me.
Before we went into the underdark we found a body.....after some searching it turned out to be Lia's body...mutulated beyond recognition.
Finding her body made us ( or me anyway) more determined to get the others back safe and sound,i can only think of two reasons she was there in the first place...either to hide from the Black Wizards and failed,or to try to set straight the mistake Mith made herself.

Now we get to the part that has upset me and ruined my seeing Sa'kura again...My happines for being back safe and seeing her again faded fast.
First she hugged me and smiled but that smile faded fast and turned to tears held back...Mom is gone....she left this life in the library on Voltrex ,her homeland..Sa showed me a paper she got ..a last gift from her mother ...it describes the combination between a magicuser and a blade wielder...Spellsword its called and Sa thinks that it might be the thing she searched for for so long,i told her she has my support and that i would do everything i can to aid her in finding out more about this .
I told her that Mith showed up at the rescue and that after he payed his share and his promiss to keep to the plan Rawkwin and Ael made he was allowed to go with us....Sa was surpriced ..i told her that Mith earlier had refused to pay like we all did and therefor wasnt invited to come along....that i guessed he saw an opportunity to go to a place in relatively safe conditions and he could get better from it himself so he showed up..i told her again that i dont trust Mith ....and i asked her if he still was hanging around Nyya as much as he did before ....Sa looked at me and said we needed to talk and sat down....
Then things started ...Sa told mr Mith wasnt hanging around Nyya as much anymore .....seemingly there is a new girl in town that he has his hands full with .
And i got some other news that realy spoiled my day....Mith has offered Sa to be her mentor ...and Sa accepted that offer ..they were going out a lot while i was gone already and Mith told her he wants her in the Arcain Alliance.Mith .....the one that had demands getting into the Alliance himself ...and laughed away by the others as Daeron told me ....Mith....the necro that cant be trusted even if you see him ...the one with an agenda bigger then Ozy's ......Mith ...the thief and the one that refused to give a relic of Aeridin back to Elladan ...the one that stole a book from a dead lich....the one that left me unprotected more then once to aid others that fought behind me and withholding spells i could use to keep them safe...the one that rushed into a fight and got me surrounded and then disapeared to find a safe spot and work his magic from there ...the one that had an affair with Rhynn while she was his student and he was married ....THAT one is going to be my loves tutor....he was starting to gain a bit of my trust ....now all that is left is an urge to kill him ..slowly and painfully.....his luck is that he hasnt touched Sa in any way ...yet ...and that Rofirein doesnt allow me to be judge and jury ....

I SWEAR I WILL KILL HIM IF HE EVER TOUCHES SA IN A WAY THAT ISNT APROPRIET    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Barion gets up and paces the room ...letting his anger flowing away thinking of the special moments he has had and still will have with Sa*

*He returns to his journal and starts writing once he is calm again*

This all started with us listening to Mith telling his side of the story of selling the ones in the underdark...he is good ...realy good .....got us all to believe him...
Rhynn showing up and helping him by saying she forgave him and he realy had no other choice helped him a lot too i guess ...we rescued the other two now....as weak as she was ..first thing Lilli did was attack Mith ...so much for his story i think ..Ralinda just ignored him ...probably thinking it was better to get out of the underdark first and worry about Mith later....as i see it ...both blamed Mith for selling them into slavery and for him not getting them back sooner ...i guess Rhynn loves Mith and that is why she forgave him ..for the hatred i saw in the underdark is not something aimed at one if there was no other option.
I'll keep a close eye on Mith ..and the first false move he makes towards Sa will be his last ...if the law doesnt put him away forgood i will simply kill him over and over till he doesnt return .
*While writing the last line his face seems to turn to stone and his knuckels turn white from the pressure he puts on the quill he softly mumbles a prayer*

"Forgive me these thoughts Golden One ...but i can not stand by idle while another is after my love .....i know i might be breaking laws if i kill him ...but i hope i will be forgiven if i ever do kill him ...for my cause is just..."

*he puts his journal in his private chest and puts some thing on it so it wont be seen just looking in the chest*

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*Barion walks into the house looking tired and worn out,he falls in a deep sleep and picks his journal out of his personal chest when he wakes and starts writing*

We did it....we stopped the threat for now ..at least for now....
Let me explain ,Quantum got a new assignment and we ( his friends) went with him to help ofcourse.
During our rescue mission for the ones in the Underdark an army of undead had risen...Q was not there ..nor was Cal...so they send Gilbert to meet and see if he could stop the threat,he went with a the best that was available of the Shining Hand  and they had not heard from him since.
Quantum first was reprimanded for not beeing available,but after that he got the order to find out and try to stop the army of undead ..one village already was destroyed and they seemed to be on a rampage near the the town of Hope in the desert there.
Quantum wanted to face the undeads head-on first i think *grins* But we finaly got him to see that such an action wouldnt work..so we did something else.
First we went to see were they could be,we found a camp with guards from Hope and talked to them,luckily for us they had scouted the area and could supply us with a map with the possitions of the undead and the types.
It turned out that there were shadows,skeletons and vampires surrounding a hill with the main force of the undead army .
The captain of the guard gave us information on another thing we didnt know ...according to him there should be two scrolls somewere on the battlefield that were specialy made to aid in destroying the army of undead...Gilbert had one and the man told us that Gilbert had went to the very center of the army...
We decided to start circeling the battle field and look for a captain from the Hope garrison that was seen as a very good tactician and see if we could use him to gain help from the guards of Hope in our plans .We found him not too far away and after a bitter fight with the undead that held him we were able to return him to his men.He gave us more information and we used that to go look for Gilbert and to see if the lionmen he mentioned could be persuaded to help us in this upcoming battle.
We found the lionmen and found out that they were there to aid Gilbert in the battle,after establishing that we came to help Gilbert to they aggreed to aid us in the same way they would aid Gilbert...luring off some forces to destroy them and get some room for us so we could move about a bit once the battle started.
After a long search we found a hole in the ground with corpses around it ...Gilbert wasnt one of them ..we went into the hole and fought undead there ...in the last chamber we found Gilbert had made a small camp as final stance ...After he found Q and talked to him a bit he agreed to help us with the scroll he had once we would start the battle with the other scroll....problem was that that scroll was lost somewere on the battle field and we needed to find it first.
After a long search and some very unnerving battles with undead we finaly could secure the second scroll...after that things happend fast after eachother
Quantum used the first scroll and lots of undead were destroyed fast and without us to have to fight them ...during this Gilbert used his scroll and more undead perished ..all that was left of the vast army was now reduced to a force on the central hill ...we got ready and after wishing eachother good luck we formed a line to face the undead that came storming off the hill....we fought hard and well organized ...we held our ground and destroyed every single undead that was foolish enough to came to us ...after the waves of undead stopped we looked to eachother and nodded to eachother ...the hill needed to be cleared ....we prepared as good as we could and stormed the hill ...killing every undead left on that hill....Rofirein was with us that fight ..we won...heroicly
Just under the top of the hill we found a lich and killed him ...when searching his body we found a scroll...another riddle ...something about a forest and hordes of undead lurking in the darkness...Q took the scroll and us to the tempel of Toran in Llast and handed over the riddle to the one that gave the order to fight the army ..they were surpriced to see us ..thought we would have failed ...relieved they greeted Q and us ..and putting the riddles together we have a fairly sound idear were to look for the army of undead...Quantum told them that Gilbert deserved a piece of the glory of defeating the undead army ...but Gilbert already told them that he would forgo on that honor and that Q was the one that decerved it....that means Q gets the vote ..if i'm correct he has all the missing votes now ...but the leadership of the Shining Hand has to wait if i know my friend a little ....i am sure he first wants to solve the riddles and see if he can do something about that horde of undead supposedly lurking in the darkness...I'll be at his side again if he plans to go out and face those ....i'm sure all that helped him sofar will be honored to fight side by side with Q again to stop a possible threat to the world .

*Barion puts his journal in his chest again and stares out of the window*
"Now its time to find out what is wrong and why Varka called on me to help"*he murmers*"I'll be busy again my love ..i'll try to be back as soon as i can "

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

Finaly a week i could use to rest and do some things that were long overdue.
Sa'kura is getting better and better in her crafts ,i read a poster from her were she offers jewelery that are hard to make.
After reading the poster i went home to check on the materials we have and i found that she used lots.
Someday soon i'll have to set her straight again ,i dont have much rules for the materials i get,just two that i want to be followed to help me keep an oversight of what is there and what i need to get .
First rule is that i want a full chest of every metal i can get,second is that first one chest has to be empty before the contens another is used.
Sa'kura keeps having troubles with those rules,again i found two chests of silver not completely full and even my chest of iron was not filled.
Maybe after the talk she'll be mad for a while,but i dont ask much and the making up is great*grins*

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

The last few weeks were slow and soothing,nothing of interest happend and i had time to think .
Lost in thoughts i missed a few things that i wont forgive myself,Quantum was send out again and i was missing and Varka wanted my help but i got to read the note long after the time he needed me.
After a few days looking for Sa'kura i gave up and let the silence sooth me and clear my mind,Sa'kura will be alright and i'm not missed it seems.
My friends do well even if i'm not around and i still had no word from the Knights of the Wyrm so i guess they dont need my services either.
Seems that all that is left for me is to get better in my craft and live the rest of my life in reasonable silence and solitude.

When your love and your friends dont need you ...what use is there in living?
The feeling of being obsolete eats me more then before,what is my purpose in this life now?
What is the use of being one of the best weaponmakers if you cant get the materials you need to train to get even better ?
What was the use of getting married when after the wedding you dont see your wife ?
What is the use of this journal? Do i realy think that others will learn from my experiences?
Who am i kidding? I'm nothing more then a man that did his job and now is too old to be taken serious.

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

It has been three months now that i saw Sa'kura , i miss her more then anything else
I had a small run with the Angels guild and that made me realise that i'm still needed by some,while on that gathering run i met Jard.
He is the closest thing to a spellsword i know,so i asked him if he could maybe talk to Sa'kura ....he told me he would do even more then that,he knows one that walks the path Sa'kura choose to walk and he would try to bring them both in contact with eachother.
My skills in weaponmaking cant be further advanced with iron now,to be able to learn more i realy need adamantium now,since i'm not strong enough to get it myself i decided to get into some others crafts .
My tinkering is going well and since i pass iron when i go out to get coal,i decided to go for armormaker too.
That way i still can mine everything i get on my path with a purpose, i realy hate to leave things i could maybe use .
To start anew i started to empty the chests in the house ,once they all are empty i'll start with a fresh layout and a steady place for things again .
I hope Sa'kura can find herself then to uphold the lay out and stop putting things in chests they dont belong.

I miss you my love ....i'll be around Hlint a lot and i hope to see you again and that things are going well with you .
You can recognice me easily ...i'm the lonely looking man that crafts to forget ...

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*With a deep sigh and a strange expression showing relief and grief at the same time Barion takes out his journal and slowly start to write*

These last days were hard and sweet at the same time,a friend died and my love and i got reunited.
The friend that died was Elgon,Elgon merrick....a fine warrior and a good companion in the guild outings i attended with the Angels Guild.
His friends in the guild and i'm sure those outside the guild will miss this fine man and from what i have seen,fine friend.
Being present at the wake they had for him,i knew where he had fallen for the last time,to give his guildmembers the opportunity to grief with eachother without strangers i took my leave early and went to the house to see if maybe i got lucky and would find Sa'kura there.
When coming home i saw i had bad luck again ...no sign from my love...
After a while Serissa came in and i told her what happend to Elgon,in a way i knew that talking about it would make it easier to accept it ...or atleast for me that seems to work.
After the talk about Elgon ,i told Serissa what Quantum and i are trying to accomplish....saving The Orcbashers from the state they are in now...a nonworking ,not runned guild that slowly will resolve in forgetfullness if nothing is done about it.
We know we need five fine ,or atleast to some extend , skilled crafters to even have a change of saving the guild.
Knowing that we now only are three that are willing to save the guild ....Quantum,Kharl and me ...and that Serissa is getting good in the crafts she does ...( and the fact that she is Quantums girlfriend) I asked her if she would join forces with me and Q if the time comes when we need crafters.
To my joy and delight she said that she would help in any way she can once Q and I ..and Kharl..need her.
After this talk i wanted to go get some iron,so i was placing things in chests to make room,when we heard someone scream and knock on the door.
It turned out to be Sonya ...completely upset she told us that Rain jumped through the portal in the guildhouse and said that he would get revenge for Elgon....completely drunk.....
Looking to Serissa i told Sonya that i probably knew were he would go and that she should use my portal to jump to Pranzis ...with a nod Serissa made known that she would come and we jumped there ...
Out of the city we prepared and ran off to the cave in the forest of Mist where i knew Elgon had fallen ...we came just in time ...Rain was completely drunk getting ready to charge a complete tribe of giants...the few that saw us i quickly desposed off ..and seeing Rain looking to charge the others,i had enough of it ...i picked him up and carried him to safety.
I put him down and turned him to face Sonya who was standing there unable to do something,tears in her eyes glistening , both from anger and from hurt.
I ripped off Rain's helmet and made him look to her ,asking if he would leave this woman and his children behind alone ...calling him a fool and a moron .
After he looked to her and partly understood what i was saying, i made him go to Sonya and talk to her ...giving them some privacy while guarding a bit further on with Serissa.
They had a long talk and Sonya said something about Rain remembering more of his past then he ever did before,i missed most of their conversation ..talking to Serissa about losing friends and the fact that you never get used to it no matter howmany times you get in that situation.
Serissa asked me if i had lost friends before and told me she tought it would be many ..i told her that every friend you lose is one too many....
Suddenly i heard a voice that made my heart jump with joy even in this situation..Sa....my love ...she ran into us ...I turned and both of us couldnt believe our eyes ....three long months we haddent seen eachother ...three long months of pushing the pain of missing her away with crafting my head off....
And there she stood ,looking even more beautifull then i remembered...tears in her eyes when realising it realy was me that stood there .
We talked a bit and then got back to Rain and Sonya and propossed to get out of the Rain and go to the lake .
Sa helped Sonya up and i helped Rain to the lake ,Serissa followed us and started praying a bit .
When looking to Rain,i saw that he wasnt completely there ...his eyes were empty and he looked like an undead almost ....
I picked him up by the ankles and dumped his head a few times in the lake ...no responce...i tried to gently slap his face a bit to get him out off the state he was in ...no responce ...his eyes shifted a little ,but he went back to the state he was in before....Serissa said it might be a good idear to put him in a bed ,but i thought it would help if i slapped him a bit harder ...and finaly ..after some slaps ...it did ...once back in our world, he started to talk to Sonya again and i asked Sa if she could come with me for a minute.
She came and i apoligized to her for being away so long and explained it was my foolishness that kept me away ...nothing she did ,just my wrong idears.
Sa gave me some news that i realy didnt want to hear ..not now ....not while we just found eachother again ....she lost another soulstrand ...she told me that every death from now on could be her last ...i still cant get myself to believe this...not now ...not her ....i told her that i would give her children to keep her safe at the house...i truely hope that we get the time to get children and raise them to be good people.
Serissa left us to go praying and Rain and Sonya came to us because Sonya was tired....Rain asked me if he could tell Sonya now ...first i didnt understand what he wanted to tell her ..but he reminded me of a talk him and i had and i remembered.
I told him he could tell her and that we could execute the thing he was going to tell her right when we got back to Pranzis.
Rain finaly told Sonya what it was ...i agreed to give them a small loan to help them buy a house to get more room for themselves and the children.
They bought the house opposit to the house i bought Sa and Rain told Sa that she could come visit to see the little ones as often as she wants.
I was glad that the day ended with something good ..i think we had our share of bad news for quite some time to come.

*Barion closes his journal and looks lovingly to Sa'kura ,who is sleeping in the bed....he kneels before the bed and starts to speak a small prayer*
"Golden one....i know that i am not one of your followers that trusted in you openly from the start of my life.....i had my doubts anf thoughts...mainly about me not being good enough to be one of your followers...now i am on knees praying to you and i hope that you will hear me ...please look after my love...please let her be in my life a bit longer ......i will try to act in every way your faith is steering me and i hope that my actions do you proud....shelter my love with your scales....guide her with your magnificent wings...let your claws give her the strenght she need to stay in this world ...please help me to keep my love safe ...thank you my Lord Protector for getting us back together again ..."
*He kisses the emblem that is hanging from a neckles around his neck and gets next to Sa'kura in the bed ...kissing her forehead without waking her and gently putting his arms around her *

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

Not much to report here,working on my armormaking is realy timeconsuming and both Sa'kura and Serissa working on rings gets me through my metals faster then i can get them.
Sa'kura has been feeling bad the last few weeks when getting up,we dont know what is wrong but i'm sure we will find out .
Soon the time will come that i'll have to stop helping out the Angels guild,the talks with the members of The Orcbashers are going the right way and it seems that we,Quantum,Serissa and myself, will be joining the last members and get the guild back up to its glory.
I am realy happy about that because for me the guild holds a special memory.
When i was called here long long ago  i met a man named Kaiser Tell...he was a fine and strong fighter and for a while a close friend.
He sold me my first iron sword and took me to a shop in the centre of Hlint to buy my other equipment from a dwarf named Gloin.
The shop was the shop of The Orcbashers..in a way i owe them my life and i am still proud that i met this dwarf ,for he was a formidable crafter and a very good fighter.
To make sure his legacy wouldnt wither away i made a lot of effort to get into The Orcbashers to help return it to former glory...and finaly it seems to be happening.

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

I'm not sure if its true ..could it be ? ...or is Sa'kura right and is it just some illness?...I hope the people i talked to are right...i hope Sa'kura is right...
I'm not sure ...am i ready ? ....are we ready ? .....can we live up to the responcibility?...can i find time with all that is about to happen ?....i better can...
I talked to Dora and Serissa and Ferrit ...they think Sa'kura is with child....it would explain the tiredness i suppose....Sa herself isnt sure if she is...
We talked and she will see a healer to make sure what it is ...i'm scared ...and i'm happy ...i'm confused ...but thankfull if she is ....i'll make time...
The Orcbashers ...they will take time too ....how can i manage if she is with child ?....I need to keep an eye on my love....she has to be kept safe....
I .....i.....couldnt live if i lost both my love and an unborn child ....i'm going to keep her busy with crafting..i need to get her more things ...much more ...
I'll burry her in work ....no...no thats not good ..she would be too tired to nurse the child ....what to do ?.....Why now Golden One ?.... Why now ?....

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

The last few days were filled with happiness ....and grief ...and fear and uncertaincy.

Happiness and grief for two things *ponders* No ...three things....
Happiness for Rain and Sonya ,they became the proud parents of three goodlooking children,Sonya felt it in Hlint and i was called for by Serissa that was with her .
I was in a conversation that i will try to explain a bit later ...
I carried Sonya to Krandor and there she gave birth to the children and everything went weel ....Rain asked me to be godfather of them and i was honoured and promissed that i would take care of that ...

The conversation i was in .....reason for both happiness and grief ....happiness for seeing someone i thought was dead ....grief for letting her down .
Sabrissia is back ....the love i lost and had been searching for for over ten years before i comitted myself to Sa'kura ,my beloved wife ....
She was standing on the platform in Hlint ...not saying anything and unnoticed by me ....Sa saw her and wondered what this "newcomer"was looking at ...
I looked ...i looked again and thought i was seeing things .....as in a dream i walked up the platform and spoke to her ...making her turn ...things went black for a short time ....when i could see again i was on the platform ...on my back ...it REALY is Sabrissia ...she lives !!!...Sa came running seeing me fall down ...
so did Serissa and Varka ...maybe even more ...i dont know ...Varka warned Sabrissia not to do anything to me ....he didnt know ...Serissa and Sa'kura ...
They knew the moment i told them her name ...i told them both the story of me and Sabrissia long ago ...they wanted to leave us alone and talk ...i asked Sa'kura to stay ...she did ...I talked to Sabrissia and told her i have been looking for her a long time ...*sighs* Untill the time i could do nothing else then assume she was dead...She told her tale ..or atleast part of it ...travveling through the planes to get home to me she was caught ..i dont know yet what caught her ..but i will find out ...they kept her prissoner all those years ...abused her fisicaly and maybe even more then that ...her face with the blue eyes and the frekkels now shows scar's ..they will pay for that ...the planes *sighs* the one place i couldnt search ...WHY!!!*he sighs deep*
She was very understanding ...but i think that was a pose ..she told me that the memory of me and the returning to me kept her alive and searching for a way out ....it must have hurted her deeply to hear that i have moved on ...got married and learned to love another...she probably wont hate me ...but i know she is disapointed to say the least ...she saw in my eyes that i love Sa'kura ...and i saw in her eyes that she still has feelings for me ...she wants to be friends and so do i ...i just hope that our feelings wont bloom up ..no ...they cant ...i love Sa'kura ...after all those years my feelings for Sabrissia ...confused me ...i was caught off guard ...i was ...i dont know what i was ...*sighs*...my love for Sa'kura will prevail ...Sabrissia is part of my past ..an unfinished part ...but still my past .

Just before i met Sabrissia i met Sa'kura outside the gates of Hlint ...she made me happy ...she knows for sure now...she is pregnant ...we are going to be mom and dad *smiles thinking of a small child*
Sa'kura was still scared and so was i ..but we will be good parents i think ...she is a natural with baby's as we found out later ...the children of Rain and Sonya ...we both were honoured by them to hold a baby ..it felt weird at first ...but wonderfull ...Sa had fainted two times in a short while and i wanted to get her home ,she first wanted to see the new baby's ...i carried her to the bedroom and we looked ..i told her that either she would ask to hold one ..or i would carry her home ..Rain offered her a girl ..and me the boy they just had ...Sa lived up and suddenly i knew that she will be a great mother *smiles*

More good news ..i am officialy a member of The Orc Bashers now,getting the guild back on its feet and back to the glory they deserve will be hard work ...but with Cole and Kharl and Quantum and Serissa and me and maybe Garnet ...i think we can do it .
All it needs is just a few changes in the way things are run and then we could become the guild The Orc Bashers were long ago again.

Then the bad news ,i got a letter a few days back .."The Voice"its called ...it describes the death of the princes in Pranzis ...and talks of the Rofirein church as accomplices og the blasted dwarf ...mthe faith i found not too long ago is in dire straights ...the church could stand allied with the dwarf ...accepting his laws as rightfull ...i swore i will never stand and defend the laws made by that madman ...and if i want to keep my word ...i will end up outlawed by the faith that means so much to me ....
I told Serissa that i will never accept his laws to be rightfull ...and if nessicary i will try to get others to help me and revolt against the church if they DO accept them ....if things go like Serissa expects ..that will be my course of action ...i only can hope that Rofirein himself will have mercy on my soul then ...for i WILL NOT bow to that dwarfs laws ...they are ridiculus and far from the laws that i was following before ...i CAN NOT accept that Rofirein would agree to step over to the laws of the mad dwarf .

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*


IT HAPPEND !!!!!I"M A DADDY NOW !!!!!

 Pink hair just like her mother *smiles* Abigail Firesteed is in good health and both Sa'kura and Abigail are doing great .

I need to go to Hlint and show her to all that i know *smiles* guess some will be frightend that the Firesteed 's have expanded
*looks to the little girl in his arms *  
"I'll do my utmost best to be there for you everytime you need me Abigail"*kisses her softly* "You make me so proud "
*He looks to Sa'kura who is resting in the bed smiling* "Thank you my love ...for this wonder i am now holding .....i'll do my best to stay alive as long as possible just to make sure we both are there while she grows up "

*he walks to the bed and gently puts the blankets around Sa *
"You rest now dearest ..i need to show our daughter to all that want to see it "*grinning he walks off ,thinking of the faces he will see once he walks into Hlint holding his daughter*

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

*Barion walks through the house in Haven and looks around at the things left inthere,he sighs and gets his journal from the cabinet at Sa'kura's side of the bed .He puts down Abigail ( who is now one and a half year old ) and sits on the bed ,reading his last entry.Tears fill his eyes remembering the moment and for a short time he just sits there and cries.After a ashort time he feels Abigails pulling on his feet and he gets a grip on himself again,he plays with his daughter and finaly he puts her to bed on Sa's side and watches her sleep.Gently he gets up not to wake his daughter and goes to the table with the quill to write in his journal*

I promissed to keep this journal and report about all i experience and explain the way i think about things,so i will continue to do that .
My life has been a hell lately and that is the reason i have taken my time to open my journal and write again.

Sa'kura ....she is dead ...i am robbed of my wife and Abigail is robbed of her mother.
With out a second thought the soulmother harvested her final strand and left us with only memories.
I was broken,but good friends and Abigail made me pick up my life again.
Still i dont go out much and still i have times that all feelings seem to be gone,Love...hate...grief...happines....there are times i feel nothing.
The things i do for the guild are down to a minimum and with some actions i probably made some people mad ..or atleast sad.
The hardest thing i had to do ...burrying Sa....I decided that it would be only me and Abigail that would be there to say our final goodbye to Sa.
I took her body and Abigail to the hidden town she grew up and burried her there under the most beautifull cherrybush i could find.
For the first time in her life Abigail was quiet and subdued i think...both her and me sat at the grave for over a day with out food or water ...not feeling anything( i could tell Abigail didnt need anything by the way she dug into me and refused to let go even if i offered her food or drinks )
All kind of terible things have happend since her departure from us ..but in my mind they all were just not as importand as my daughter.
Hurm was hit by black dragons and infested with a plague...Q was one of those that was near and he let himself be sealed in the town.
I found out and went with a group to find the cure for that plague...we found it ...and we found more ,but that is something i will write about later.
Haven is in danger ...gnolls from somewere no one knows are trying to take the place of the ogres in Haven mines and are a danger to the population of Haven itself.
I talked to Ozy and he gave me a few leads that might help me find the source of these gnolls and maybe ...just maybe...if i can get a strong enough group...maybe i'll be able to help defeat these gnolls and the ones that have send them.
I met Brualot ( head investigator ) and asked him if he could help gather information aswell.He did and we know a bit more ...but not nearly enough to go out and try to solve this.
If Ozy is right,its origin in something called "ancient ruins " or its original name "Arindo's rest".
This could be the most dangerous place anyone ever has gone to,but if the solution is there ,i'll have to go and do what i can.

I'm too tired now to write more and will leave it at this.
*He looks to the bed and smiles looking at his daughter sleeping peacefully*
"I will continue to write this journal for you Abigail,maybe it will help you understand your father and help you to get a image of his life if ever he will go on to the next step"
*He gets next to her in the bed and holds her gently *
"Sleep little one ...i'll be there once you will be big enough to understand and will tell you all you want to know then"

[jan]

*a new hastily scribed entry by Barion*

They want me safe ...they want me not to endanger anyone ...they want Abigail to have her father ....they can have their way .
I'll simply become the ghost they want me to be...materials will apear in the chests in the guildhall....i will be present for everything that i find important .
For the rest ....i'll be the ghost they want ...not seen ....not in danger ...not in anyones way .

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

After some time alone with Abigail and the vilagers from the little vilage that Sa'kura and her family grew up in,i decided that i cant run away from my responsibility to the world .I once again shall show myself and do what i can to save asmuch as possible from this cursed world as i can.
I will start anew and work hard to make The Orc Bashers the greatest guild there is,furthermore i will aid where ever possible to help make this world a better place.I have been summoned to the tempel in Velensk to defend myself and i will go there with my head held high.
For now i find it comforting that Abigail will stay in the small vilage and is looked after by the nice and good people there.
I will go there three times a week to play with her and tell her the story of her mother once she is old enough
My heart and soul are shattered,but i wont show it to others,instead i will go back to the time before even Shelu...i will flirt and go out ..but will never fall in love again .

Maybe this is a sign for me ...take the good things of life ,but dont commit yourself to anyone else then your daughter...it will be hard.

[jan]

*new entry by Barion*

We did it .....the rightfull king of Bloody Gate is back on his throne.
Varka is now warlord of the united dwarven clans of Bloody Gate.
My time i have spend crafting mostly,got a bit better in armormaking and i feel close to understand tinkering better.
The flirting with women seems to be something that comes natural for me,being nice and complimentary seems to be the way to most women hearts.
I am sure it could get me into trouble one of these days,on the other hand ...i try to keep some distance with the women i meet.
Most dont see through my charade of happiness and dont seem to understand that i could make love to them if they want but are unable to love them.
The wound is still too deep and i doubt that it will ever heal enough for me to be able to love anyone else then Abigail.
I heard of Coratites and Pyrtechionites that walk the streets openly now.....if only the church would give some guidelines on how to proceed with that ....
The accusations against me from the church are solved and there will be no further hearing over it.
A small group of us went to find some followers of our ally Vorax,they ventured into the cave in the Fens to find a thing but never returned.
We found their dead bodies and a journal that is still in the possesion of Jennara and we found a recipe that discribes what to do with the seeds .
After presenting the recipe to Reus,wich took a fair amound of time due to the fact that most there didnt trust him,he left and came back after half an hour and returned the recipe to me.
I asked permission and got it to give the recipe to the druid that was with us ...i did this to show the druids that we as Rofireinites are willing to work together with them to secure the seeds.
If the druids try to use me or my friends in any way and after that simply ignore us, i will see if i can bring them to court.
If i was to judge them i would say that these stuck-up arrogant selfproclaimed saviors of nature think that animal life is more important then humanoid life.

Ofcourse they dont follow that rule if they themself are in any way in danger and need help from their animal friends to hide behind...but that is something they never will admit too openly.
If i had one coin for every time i saw a druid call on his animal friends to save him or her i would be the richest person on this world.

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

The house in Haven is almost empty now,not having to go there will help with me getting back up on my feet i think.
Soon i will sell the place and be done with it,the things that stood in the house and that i hold dear i will place in Pranzis.

I have re- met some one and strangly enough i feel at peace and understood by her...she is a big help in me getting back on my feet and if i listen to my heart then i hear things that i find scaring and soothing at the same time...could it be ?.....*sighs*....maybe in time.....time...
We had a good talk and we were both open about our feelings of hurt and our mutual wish that if it ever happens it will be for ever...
She didnt know i was talking about her when i told her that i met some-one that could maybe be the one....nor am i sure that i am the one she told about that could break through the shell that she has put up....i only can hope and wait ...as it seems now , we will be traveling more together and maybe....just maybe...we grow closer to eachother.

Abigail is growing bigger and gets stronger and more clever every day ...i took Dalan along and she was happy to see him ...they played for a long day and i think i saw the dwarf swallow away some feelings*smiles* Sa was close to him and i'm sure that he will be there if Abigail ever needs him.

The guild is getting shape now,the guildhall is now filled with chests and i'm doing what i can to fill them ...some still need to learn that the same things should be in one chest and not spread out over more chests so i can monitor what it is that is needed and can refill the chest then ( Quantum and Tegan)
But i'm sure that once the poster of row indication that shows wich row is for what craft will help with that.
Lovely Miss Tegan has joined us ,she is an exelent taylor and finaly the skins i get are used again...getting things she needs is one of the things i realy take pleasure in*smiles looking out*She has been hurt in love before and her crafting was difficult because she lacked the support in gathering skins she needs .

We havent had word from Sh'anda yet,i invited her to come to our meeting and wanted her to join us aswell...i hope she is alright and we can talk about her joining us again soon.

[jan]

*New entry by Barion*

*Barion looks to his sleeping daughter and smiles, he removes the journal from his pack and starts to write*

The days i spend with Abigail are more and more a source of peace for my mind and soul,i can be myself and dont have to pretend anything.
Seeing her laugh and play and the way she looks at me in admiration are among the best things in life.

The Orcbashers shop in Hlint has be remodelt and we have made it almost ready to have a grand opening.
The guildhall is now for threequaters filled with chests for materials we need and we are working hard to get our stock up .

I have spilled the beans so to say, i told Tegan i have feelings for her ,but could not tell her if i love her ..yet..
She took her time in answering and she sounded thruthfully when she did.
She can not commit herself to some one in a relation just yet but we will see how things go and take it from there.

I feel relieved that atleast i wasnt laughed at and not rejected.

We are working on a poster to place on the tradeboard so people can see what we have to sell and howmuch we charge for it.
Even without the poster we already have people coming in and asking about things,so i think we will be alright soon.

There has been a clash between members and it resulted in Kharl leaving us.
I still feel sorry he found it nessicary,but he was the one that held the rest back a bit.
He couldnt let go of the old way The Bashers was led and every else wanted to change that, a clash was coming sooner or later i guess.

*Barion puts his journal back in his pack and plays for hours with his daughter and her friends, they love to play hide and seek...because it is so easy to see Barion* ( not the smallest of persons).
*after a long and happy day he brings Abigail to her bed and reads too her from his journal and from Sa'kura's journal,lovingly explaining to her who her mother was and softly speaking to her untill she soundly is to sleep*
"I will be back in two days Abi and i will bring uncle Dalan along ...sleep now and pay attention tomorow when miss Claire teaches you things"

*He pulls the blankets up to her head and kisses her forehead gently before he walks off*