Joke

[egoober]

*throws a pie at Darkstorme in response*

[Falonthas]

and to think it almost was perfect till you resorted to pseudo humor

bad snake bad snake

[Lalaith Va'lash]

Aw, I've been working on a presentation all day long -- and that was just what I needed to make me laugh.

Maybe it is more a fact that I've been struggling all day long than its actual humor... BUT - I thought it was funny at the time

[Falonthas]

here you go lala
just picture psuedo in his pink shirt and then when he gets up from behind the desk he has a pink tutu to match

[Masterjack]

Lord Rael of Pransis was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Rael if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a bull runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.

'No,' said Rael, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a wagon carrying 50 children went over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'
'I'm afraid not,' explained Rael. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Rael searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Trouble Tempest raised his hand... In a quiet voice he said: 'If the carrage carrying you and Mrs. Rael was struck by a 'friendly fire' magic missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Rael. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?'

'Well,' says Trouble, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss....... and it probably wouldn't be a freaking accident either'.

[Pseudonym]

Zup was steering his beetle across a brand new bridge that crossed a chasm in the city of gnomes. The bridge had taken a gnomish engineering crew many months to build and Zup's gargantuan beetle was to be the first test of the bridge's stability. Unfortunately Zup (by now suspicion was certainly growing that he was, in fact, not an excellent driver) crashed the beetle into the (fortunately) empty toll booth at the start of the bridge.

He climbed down from his beetle and surveyed the wreckage. Within a matter of minutes, another beetle pulled up and unloaded a crew of gnomish workers.

The gnomes picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and good as new.

"Astonishing!" Zup said to the crew chief. "What was that white stuff you used to get all of the pieces together?"

The crew chief said, "Oh that was tollgate booth paste."

[Pseudonym]

A bard walks into the Leringard Inn with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument that exists in Layonara.

He hears everyone in the inn laughing at him, calling him a fool, etc. Putting his coin where his mouth is, he says that he will wager 100 true to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

Hardragh, pretty boy bard, walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than anyone has ever heard, just rippin' it up. So Hardragh concedes defeat and pays his 100 true.

Clever Kali walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Ozy. So Kali pays her 100 true.

Then Acacea walks up with bagpipes. She sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look. "Ha!" Acacea says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at her and says, "Play it? I'm taking this baby home as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off."

[Pseudonym]

Clarissa arrives at the temple in Huangjin. She is assigned to helping the other champions copy the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

She notices, however, that all of the champions are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, Clarissa goes to the Light of Toran Ortheus to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

Ortheus says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my daughter."

Ortheus goes down into the dark caves underneath the temple where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been accessed since the temple opened. Hours go by and nobody sees the old Toranite.

So, Clarissa, starting to get worried, goes down to look for him. She sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. Clarissa asks, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old man replies, "The word was ... CELEBRATE!!"

[Pseudonym]

The procession of dwarves go deep into the Brech Mountains to see the head of the Church of Vorax and because their number includes such luminaries as Kobal, Fenrir, Beli, Ket, Argali, Hilda, Jacrum, etc they are immediately ushered into his presence. Grohin leads the pack.

"Grohin, ma frien'," says the Dwarven Priest, "What cannae I do fer ye?"

Grohin grumbles, "Excuse da int'rupt'n Cap'n, but dere be any kin who be sistas o' da Father o' Battle (// Think modern day nun //) in Krashin?"

The Priest of Vorax wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "Nay Grohin, dere be nay kin sisters in Krashin dat ah know about."

In the background, a few of the dwarves start giggling. Grohin turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grohin turns back, "Ummmm, dere be any kin sistas in all o' da North?"

The Priest, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, "Nay Grohin, dere be no kin sistas o' Battle in all da' North."
 
This time, all of the other dwarves burst into laughter. Once again, Grohin turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grohin turns back and says, "Well den, dere be ANY kin dat be sistas o' de Father Vorax anywhere in de whole o' Layonara?"

The Priest, really confused by the questions says, "Nay lad, dere be no sistas o' Vorax anywhere in da whole world. Not dat dey cannae be, just dere ain't any."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting ...

"Grohin slept with a penguin! Grohin slept with a penguin! Grohin slept with a penguin!"

[Pseudonym]

[size=-2]

... and because their number includes such luminaries as Kobal, Fenrir, Beli, Ket, Argali, Hilda, Jacrum, etc they are immediately ushered into his presence. Grohin leads the pack ...

Okay, if you're mentioned in a joke post it's considered polite to give out a thanks! The players of all those dwarves have been warned.[/size]

Anyways ...

Sick of having people question his bravery, Sallaron decided to attend a practical tactics and strategy seminar run by the Voraxians. The instructor was giving Sall's class instruction in unarmed self-defense. After the dwarf presented a number of different situations in which they might find themselves, he asks his tallest and scruffiest student,
"What steps would ye take iffin some goint be comin' at ye wit' a big, flamey 'ammer?"

Sallaron replied, "BIG ones."

[LordCove]

Heh! Classic!

[Script Wrecked]

... and because their number includes such luminaries as Kobal, Fenrir, Beli, Ket, Argali, Hilda, Jacrum, etc they are immediately ushered into his presence. Grohin leads the pack ...

[/SIZE]Okay, if you're mentioned in a joke post it's considered polite to give out a thanks! The players of all those dwarves have been warned.

Sorry.

*presses thanks button*

### Error 225: too many thanks ###

What?

*tries pressing thanks button again*

### Error 316: blatant thanks solicitation violation ###

D'oh!

[Script Wrecked]

Okay, if you're mentioned in a joke post it's considered polite to give out a thanks!

Or perhaps you need to increase your sample size, something like:

It was balmy day on the beach at Audira for A'arwynn Silverbow, Abigail Firesteed, Absinthe, Acedia Rowle, Adelle Asantiani, Adotumal Silentall, Aedimir Dawnstar, Aeryn Tahlaer, Aethia Gelicnite, Agrahtar Tares, Aidan Velaster, Ajax Grekor, Alagos Basir Maethor, Alanna Cerissi, Alassir Vil'Drazzic, Alazander, Alden Pickett, Aleth Sypar, Alexander Cornelius, Alfrilark Stormshield, Alice Vars Millen, Altair Stormblade, Alu Fallenar, Aman Shadar, Amaris A'Iretni, Ameli Lihn, Amourain Sihdehl, Amras, Amras A'Iretni, Anala Eiln, Animus Massor, Aramisa Damus, Arcite Sparxs, Arfeld Tar-Ne-Golet, Argali Trueaxe, Argus Smithson, Ariel Applerose, Arik Longshore, Arioch Lavelocity, Arivis Vigors, Arkada, Arkenon, Arlis Springtree, Armias Alcarin, Aronathas, Arsain Fira, Artemain Harque, Artemis Kane, Artemis Sendant, Aryanna, Ash, Ashlynn Irion, Asztrik ForestWarder, Aurora, Auso Choel, Avaritia Luxur, Averill Duncan, Ayana Elohana In'Darsus, Azdov Maval, Aziz, Babaki, Bajai, Balzag Vildron, Bam Crunch, Barail, Barbare, Bartholomew Fallowfield, Bastion Almasty, Benlanlynara Arklindo, Beorn, Berak, Bigridoc, Bjosef Bourne, Blake Fot, Boda Thunderhand, Bolor Glangyth, Boltar Storm'hammer, Bordak of the Rabid Wolf Clan, Borgak, Brina, Brunhilde, Buddy Tenker, Burke, Caalish Hashimbal, Caecus Aduro, Caelte Amargein, Cai'ron Morningstar, Caim Xyvorn, Cal'isar Whitestone, Cald Arniman, Caldor Kalin, Callin Gald, Calvin Norseman, Cam Cutter, Camas Pemeniso, Carick Leringard, Casslin Hildegard, Cederic Fennelroot, Cenden Hoquon, Chance Salvare, Chanynce Baldu'muur, Chaz Hunter, Chestnut Tanglethorn, Chiara Laecelam'lela, Chicory Fourleaf, Chilo, Chino Lyfesoother, Cire Sparks, Cirol Saltyr, Clarissa, Claudia Mayer, Clover, Coachella, Cole Pandorn, Colo, Constantine Wulf, Cora Blake, Crank Stone, Crespi Nimblefoot, Crispin, Cutter Stonehelm, Cyne, Dagfari No-Pere, Dagnar Hullbreaker, Dale Archer, Dalila, Danath Rosethorn, Daniel Moore, Dardo Klemmson, Darien, Dave Hendrix, Dearka Silvermane, Deasil Withershin, Death Singer, Deidra Merrick, Delonderiel DarkRunner, Demetrius Gad, Demitri Rift, Democoon Torr, Desdemara, Dfer Greenleaf, Diaxodas Oveim, Digs, Doren Treewalker, Dorian Wilde, Dradnats Lausu, Dre'je'nemal Sellis, Dreagen Frey, Drek'tar, Dustin Koch, Dwila Naldukr, Dylan Stormbow, Dylan Tyde, Eander Shalynn, Eanlan Siris, Ebreth Est'aclyn, Edison Locke, Edu'win Solinesti, Edward Greenfield, Eesa Soulcry, Efficace Brown, Elandra Firewalker, Elar Windsong, Eldariel Isilvene, Eldon Tealeaf, Eleran Leahson, Elessar Meneldur, Elgon In'Darsus, Elijah Bloodtear, Eliza, Ellena Ste'fesser, Ellis Crill, Elyam In'Darsus, Elzhabehl Tyr' Neldth, Ember Beau, Emily Moody, Emmy Lighthand, Emory Swordsong, Emwonk T'noduoy, Eregion Silverstar, Erolin Jinae, Eruanna Glorandir, Eryndel Dy'nair, Essel Peacewind, Eyafares, Ezekiel Wheatchaff, Fayjah Drasiele, Feana Pantherguard, Feefty One Ear, Fianon Brittlebow, Finalyn Stonefist, Finnegan Fletcher, Flandal Steelskin, Floran Oakleaf, Flynn de Ballard, Focus Finkle, Fortun Ghaele, Frederick Alexander, Fritz Biermeier, Gabriel Redview, Gamron Ironfeet, Gard Thel, Gavin Evwinson, Geraa, Gillander St. Clair, Glim SilverHammer, Glim Silveryaxe, Glith'nich Amthrmil, Glurk, Gollandrian, Gork, Gorzak, Gothim Shieldbreaker, Grannax Stonebrow, Grant Elsbie, Grayald d' Estrelis al Vandagar, Grena Rockbasher, Grex, Grovel Foaming Wolf, Grugh Thornbane, Gudelsky, Gurin Blansten, Gurmar Rockhelm, Gusset Blackvein, Gvhe, Haggis Meatgrinder, Haratar, Hawk Hellios, Helgha, Herekete, Hitachi Konkuro, Hogg Sapskull, Hotaru Kawabata, Hrothgar Ingeitum, Hue Root, Huntemara In'Darsus, Ian Wrath, Indra Datho, Iolantir N'maerth Rhovanion, Islandra, Jack Sheppard, Jacrum Shieldbreaker, Jaelle Thornwood, Jaigan Drakand, Jaldaric Doombringer, James Aybara, Jason Milbrook, Jaspar Cirinus, Javicar Nor, Jearick R H'gar, Jennifer Stewart, Jervis, Jhad'zea, Jhonas Redar, Jodo Pomple-moose, John Smitty, Johnathan Wainwright, Jon Heinrich, Jonahaleria, Joslyn, Justice, Juylina Fiirhallen, Kadim Arshanavean, Kage Bronzeswift, Kahu Ahi, Kahu Ahi, Kairin Wayfare, Kalin Sundar, Kalinthir Tu"anthel, Karim Elksoul, Katrina, Katsumi, Kayiti the Endurant, Kazerick Terradil, Keela Cent, Kenelm Alan, Khanschei Crystiin, Kharloc, Khuren, Kid Lute, Kiira Lo'Amour, Kilraq Starlight, Kin Trisin, Kinai Kinsei, Kioi Ospreycaptor, Kira Le'lyn, Kitney Martial, Kitty Kanara, Klefnar, Kohi, Koi, Kol Hardigar, Koltok, Koltor Torlin, Koren Orion, Korina Card, Kramar Aarin, Krell Himmler, Krill, Kross Swift, Kurt Dio, Laameoan Nycilam, Laanmileviran Ilmmeam, Laaren LeMeele, Laira Timberline, Lance Coyle, Lance Stargazer, Landon Bright, Lars, Latyewan Anilcgoam, Lava, Le'bota, Ledrin Navelio, Lee Owens, Leeia Til`Reion, Legretto LeFarge, Leisa Margreve, Leithwin Ravenbrow, Lelu Auran, Lenora Wynspeare, Leone, Leoric De Andyzz, Liasanya Whisperwind, Liatsh, Lilith Moonshine, Lillith Delunara, Lin Xu, Linda Valkhein, Lino Bildert, Llessur Lightfoot, Lucas Grey, Lucius Kaiser, Luet Whitetail, Luna MoonFire, Luthien Indis Seregon, Mai, Malagith Ze'Marri, Malkor, Malleck the Quick, Malo Grell, Mangle-Or, Marcus, Mard Jorisbane, Maria, Markus, Masada, Matthias, Melana Sky, Merilor Coldcrescent, Merry Lark, Milly Ruia, Mipealean Darkwaters, Mirrim Cade, Mitchel Kray, Morgana, Mourn, Mourn Taruth, Mukanda Kinkill, Murbiddle Schepwick, Muuju, Nagash von Ritter, Nathan Hall, Nechemiah, Ned Smithson, Nemo Dra'mykd'yra, Nessa Firedancer, Nicholas Nendawen, Nico Pierce, Nicolai T'alsun, NightBreeze, Nilanir, Nisbet Narine, Nonac Shadow Wolf, Nusion Thanor, Nyeaeana Irylanam, Nyec'w Frost, O'red Stonehall, Odium Ironbrand, Ogzughimmal, Oma Limetree, Oramis Argetlam, Orias Lidel, Orinogaway Unisethaerion, Oropher Pallanen, Ortugg Bootlegga, Owyn Zytacrehan, Ox, Ozok Arnik, Pallena, Paulanthus Moon, Peryalingwe Shantoson, Phaeyr, Po'kzi Laazkzinaazgah, Prishia Nolan, Qual Ma'fer, Quarral Mae'zynge, Quelimire Vinewind, Quentin Cavendish, Quinn Faren, Raen, Rajistin Thistledown, Rakash, Ral Cean, Rale, Ramone Delaech, Ramzies, Randi Tyne, Ranter Arcanebow, Rarebrion Greenleaf, Raymund Narflash, Rebecca, Rechra Sacomo, Red, Reinard D'Raven, Reyna Shadowrain, Rhandir, Rhetger Lightgale, Rhomnus Cathartica, Rhune Hawkins, Rice Tumblewarf, Rick Greenheart, Rigo Westbrows, Riven Ring-Cleaver, Riz'yelle Sparkstream, Rizzir, Rob Lark, Rog Warcleaver, Roger Trencavel, Rolan Tennesen, Roman Williams, Ron Kallahan, Ronan Marshald, Roriman Stronghold, Rorkan Dennither, Rorlg, Rosalyn Del'Phoena, Rose, Rowyn Delita, Ruby Gemcrusher, Rylon d'Roach, Ryuukei, Sabalan Thergol, Sabel Ryn'ia, Sagart Farriage, Sairainde Tasartir, Saith Drekan, Sallozzo, Salvante D'alessio, Sami Groundbreaker, Sammas Gondo, Sara, Sarah Asdams, Sasha Tomyris, Sasha Westwind, Savon, Scar, Scott Tormick, Scout, Scrogg, Sean Black, Seidahn Xyvorn, Sein Alinds, Semi Gazier, Sendar, Serryn Ryn'ia, Seth Kenton, Shado Quinn, Shadow De'thaar, Shalar Aza'iel, Sharto Kenseph, Sharyn'Aylathenn Valhaikor, Shiff Dragonheart, Shinrei Yasunari, Shinrin-Yoku, Sil'via Serissa In'Darsus, Silver, Siomyril Zyrustine, Sirius, Skarr, Skull, Slain Tulrar, Slate ShieldCrusher, Slessanaa, Slint Quillscratcher, Smudger Crowfoot, Soigo Zedrisen, Sol Harrier, Sol'thas Dwin'saen, Spirit Skye, Star Elen, Stefan Manticore, Strine Cortal, Stumpp Futt, Stumpy, SunFrost, Suntop Treedancer, Surion, Suth, Syclya, Syton Tilner, Tadhg McNeill, Tagnar Hauksen, Tahletril Tyr'neldth, Tain, Talia, Tamiara Hawktalon, Tania Dango, Tariana, Taric Calahan, Tarik Ironhammer, Taringalia Raincloud, Tath Zo'layum, Telini Artima, Teranda Dovefire, Terrik Dree, Thainin Tal'Rayne, Tharen Faror Heleniro, Thomas Longfellow, Thomas Martin, Thoran Stormcleaver, Thorax Ruinshield, Thordur Rocksplitter, Thorgrim Glitterbeard, Thorn Stormforge, Thrabian Whyss, Tialle Dianesis, Tiernan Laodices, Tobias Renwald Malcolm, Tod Fellow, Tomni Silverhand, Toni Bravespoon, Toramir Peone, Tornith Slang, Torryl Balador, Tragor, Trajan Ellis, Travie, Trill, Tristan DeMoyer, Tritherion Con'doin, Tuldor Na'reth, Unen Cent, Urdair Illi, Urhuk Meshanek, Uriel Vinsraul, Vaelthos Agrias, Valen Glen'liss, Valmara Dormin, Valring Glorzak, Vann Shale, Vax Teagle, Velmira Veeto, Vendar Quintas, Vernon Dusani, Vick Geigne, Victor, Victor Stonehand, Vincent, Vinci, Vinden Blackstaff, Virtue Kessen, Viva Grabbor, Vlanin, Westanny Smith, William Grump, Williem Punter, Wimkin Lumdar, Wrythe, Xravil Lumenaegar, Xune, Xyrae Venari, Ya, Yolan Delan, Yona Hildegard, Yori Marblefist, Yukimura Hyoujin, Yvalee of the Seventh House, Zane Hasenkauf, Zardoc, Zarneth Vildron, Zenthanial Zim, Zephiel Silvermoon, Zephryl Almaran, Zilvra Nal'arlith, Zinaria Da'theen, Zolanthor Kegtaker, Zookzig Schepwick, Zy'ethias Malve'tnei, and Zynes Koehlaeaer, when someone said wouldn't it be nice to get some ice cream ...

[Filatus]

You just lost one thanks, Script Wrecked. *grumbles about being left out*

[jan]

You just lost one thanks, Script Wrecked. *grumbles about being left out*

Make that two *goes with Filatus to get a beer *

[Script Wrecked]

You just lost one thanks, Script Wrecked. *grumbles about being left out*

Make that two *goes with Filatus to get a beer *

Sorry, Jan, but Barion doesn't actually appear in any of the approved character lists*. Seems you've been playing illegally all this time...

*discreetly tries to flag down a passing admin*



*fyi - the character names were taken from the 2007 approved character list

[stragen]

An impostor Knight of the Wyrm? A forged defender of the Holy Laws of Roferien?

Barion?

No, wait that was one of my old characters!

[Nehetsrev]

Sorry, Jan, but Barion doesn't actually appear in any of the approved character lists*. Seems you've been playing illegally all this time...

*discreetly tries to flag down a passing admin*



*that's where I got all the character names from

Must be an incomplete listing you looked at then, cause you missed 4 of my 6 (unless you don't count the deleted character or the permed character, then it's just 2 of 4 missed).  Anyhow, I know all 6 of my characters had been approved before creation, and if I dig I bet I can still find their original submission threads...somewhere.



Maybe I should take my thanks back?

[Falonthas]

he had 3 of my four active missed shado

[darkstorme]

// Back on track.

In Krandor, Earl Frogstomper wanders into the bar.  He settles himself on a bar stool, and a horse trots up behind the counter.

Earl just looks at the horse for a second.  The horse stares back at him, then opens its mouth, and talks!  "What's the matter?  Surprised to see me here?"

Earl, astonished, simply nodded.  "Yeah.  Did the cows sell the place?"