Journal of a fallen Ranger

[Hellblazer]

Waiting.

Things has slowed a little, which I find to be a repos.  I mean, running around constantly trying to get things for the guild, training hard and when I finished training even harder.  Now I can take time with my family, play more with the kids which are now almost 2 years old, 20 months olds, seems only like a week ago they were born.  Tristan is definatly the head strong type and like to play rought.  I'm not sure for Sarah but she seems a bit more of the artistic type, she loves to draw using the stick charcoal.  Constant battle not to let her eat it, but she realy seems to love it.

Having more time with Sonya is great too. We've been sugnling more around the fire while the kids where playing with Arwin, Draco and Ehlen.  I am a lucky man.

I saw Kyle today while I was giving Dora her split share.  He had Cole with him and he beem father hood from ear to ear.  I'm happy for them and I can't wait for the kids to be all together.

Althought I have had more time, I did not lay back on my trainings.  I am still awaiting news on when my trial will be and it seems like an eternity.  I hope they will come soon so I can finaly advance in my new arts.

Well back to play with the Kids.

*slides on the ground until he stops in front if Sarah and start tickling her while Tristan jumps on his back trying to put a wet finger in Rain's ear.*

[Hellblazer]

Still waiting.

I dont know what is happening, did the powers that be who is supose to do my trial forget me?? I have no idea.  All I know is that I have had no more contact with him since a few months now and I am getting restless and worried that I will never see the trials day come forth.

Beside that I have been training with Sonya on Dregar.  She seems more in control of her new powers and she is more confident all in all.  I love what I am seeing from her it shows that she is steadily getting stronger within and without.  I'm just a bit worried that her prolong visit to Dregar might affect the kids.  At the moment they did ask for her a lot before going to bed or when they were sad, I do my best to comfort them but I do not know how much longer I can held them back from getting hurted from her prolong absence. Sarah is the most affected as she did call for mama a few times awake but mostly when sleeping.  It broke my heart when she woke up from one of her nightmare again and I couldt get her to stop crying as she was yelling for Sonya.

Beside that, the guild is still flourishing, I made some new sales and a few unfinished orders, but My craft is not getting forward with Sonya ona leave of absence I dont have anything to work with.  I see her every day though, on Dregar, we train together and look for houses but I truly wish she will come home soon I miss her dearly and the kiss she gave me today made me realise how much more I missed her.  Just her presence is a longning that is hurting.

I hope that all will settle soon, not that there is any problem with me and her, but all the rest, the trials, the deal between me and Kyle.

[Hellblazer]

It's soo good.
 
 To finaly have her back home, by my side, if only to look at her spend time with the childrens. I saw her looking at the statue near the craft halls in port Hampshire, I could not help but to yell her name. She ran to me, jumped in my arms and kissed me and what a kiss. I did not want to let her go and held her as long as I could, but the arrival of Elgon took us out of our bubble.
 
 After some waiting we went to the blood desert for some action and to get fire agates. My love technics has much improved and I'm happy to see the training she has put herself into paid off. But to what price... After I came home, from duties and a trip, I saw her with the kids, playing with them and spending a lot of time. I do not mind that she did not pay to much attention to me but I could see that Sarah was not herself yet. She did not want to leave Sonya's side even when it was time to go to bed. They all fell asleep together in the bed and it makes me remember the time before the cots that Kyle made for us.
 
 Even when I was doing some papper work for the guild, I saw Tristan almost to the ledge of the bed and I didnt want him to fall so I took him and laid him in his cot but when I went to take Sarah to lay her in hers, she woke a little and strated to cry a little, still holding Sonya. So I left her to sleep with her and when I was done, I joined both of them holdnig them both in my arms and fell swiftly asleep.
 
 The next morning I woke up a bit earlyer than Sonya and made our breakfast. When I came to give them theirs, I saw Sonya pray to lucinda. It .. I don't know.. it feels strange. I never knew Sonya to be the god follower type and even more so after seing me stop beleiving in gods, I would not have thought her to go toward one. But her prayer was a joyful one, thanking her for keeping safe on her way back, for the tmie she spend with her childrens and for me. I won't say anything, if it makes her happy then I am happy. Make's me wonder though if my anger toward the gods is misplaced. I mean, which kind of a god would turn it's back on the people of pranzis and let the suffering of their folowers go on. Broegar seems to be a good ruler, but that is only in aperance. i am sure that he will show his true colour soon enought and the suffering of the people will only decuplate. What I know is this, from what I have seen and heard from others, the strictness and the juging the folowers brings to one an other, it's not for me.
 
 Well that is her path and as always I will support her in her decision even if I do not agree with it. Beside from what I know, her beleives do not put our couple and life into jeopardy and if it can bring her closer to realising her full potential, then i will not stand in her way. Who knows maybe in a far future, the devotion she puts into her new beleives will quell my anger toward Folian. As a ranger, I still fel compelled to trust in him fro time to time, but I trust in nature most, in her beauty and power more than in a faceless god that shows himself only when he feel like it.
 
 Well, a lot to do, a lot of time to spen with my darlings, so much catching up to do.  But it is all worth it, I know it is.
 
 *Puts the quill down and sets his journal beside the journal of Sonya*
 
 "Hope she reads it so manythings I could not tell her personaly is in this."
 
 *He thinks to himself as he puts his guild garb and his rings and weapons on.*

[Hellblazer]

*Takes his guild cloak off and leave it on the ground.  Unstrap his sword, looks at it and trows it against the wall the seth split in half as the sword stais imbeded in the wall of the 150 Krandor.  Takes out his journal sits and stares at it for hours before writing*

My brother, my friend and confident, the one I have pledge an oath of blood, the one with whom I had laugher and cries.  Elgon... Why?

*Empties a bootle of Xeenite wine in one gulp*

You had everything, my love and frienship, the support love and appartenance of a family, the love of a beautiful woman who loved you with all her heart even though you were cursed.  Why?

*Opens an other bottle of xeenite wine and drinks it whole and stares into the fire for a while the ale taking hold*

SYou had evrthings going for syou.. Why did syou have to fellow ShDora dowsn there?

*Opens an other bottle and drink it to a quarters*

Sno maters, they will spay fors sthis...

*Gets up tumbling around untill he see Sonya come in the house and hears*

Rain!!...

[Hellblazer]

I'm confusedand I miss him so much...
 
 I woke up in the corax lake, Serissa praying over me, Barion looking at me almost with a grin in his face, Sonya sitting down a few pace behind him with Sa'kura by her side. I could see that Sonya had cried but I don't know why. First of all, how did I get here? What I remember was drinking after Kyle, Ferrit, Dalan and Mercas left the 150 where we had our last drink with Elgon before he just disapeared in front of all of us. Vanished into thin air no body, no nothing. I remember the promise he had me take to always protect those he loved and to go on smiling thinking of him. I remember drinking so much but after that.. Total blank.
 
 When Barion helped me get out of the lake Sonya came to me asking if I was alright, my jaw still hurts today. I was ok beside that and she asked me what I remembered after I asked her how I had gotten here. Nothing more than what I already remembered. She the started to tell me that for that short moment I remembered my past and that I told her about my father, mother, wife and kids that I had. That both my father and son were named Elyam and that my mothers name was Eloana and thats where i got my blue eyes and red hair. But even now, as I write this, I have no recolection of telling her that. We talked for some time and Serissa parted ways with us. Then Barion and Sa'kra took some distance to talk and me and my love kept talking.
 
 After a while we decided to join up with Barion and Sa, because Sonya was tired and wanted to go back home. Thats when I took over my pride and asked Barion if I could tell Sonya. He was a bit confusd at the begining but he remembered and he told me I could. Even Sa, which whom I had breifly talked to in the bank about it was confused but her to remembered fast. So I told Sonya that Barion had offered to help us with what we needed to buy the house. She was unsure at firstm thinking we were pranking her. But when Barion told her it was true and we could buy it today, she was overjoyed and huged him. So we went back to Pranzis, Yes Pranzis, I will never call it otherwise; it owes me that much for seeing my wife fall to protect fer!!, and while Barion, Sa and Sonya where going to the bank, I went to check up the house I thought would be the best for us. We met up at the agent and bought the house. I stood tall and Pround lifting the key High for them to see, a broad smile on my face and we all ran to the house. I picked the one that was straight across Barion and Sa'kura's house and told them both they could come visit as much as they wanted. Sa'kura was happy when I told her that she would be able to see the twins more often now. I picked Sonya up in my arms and we both passed the door at the same time. We made a quick tour of the house and after that they both left, leaving me and Sonya to proper cressen it.
 
 *stops and think of that night smiling*
 
 Lets just say that all the room were duly visited.
 
 *chuckles*
 
 then we fell asleep on the floor in what would become our room. The next day, Sonya locked her self in our bathroom to pray and write her journal I guess and I started to move ourthings to the house with the help of Dalan, Daniel and Mercas. After two days of staying at their babysitter, I took Sarah and Tristan to see their new house, but I had real trouble getting them into it, all they wanted is to play in the pound just behind it and run through the woods. Finaly after a while of playing with them, I managed to bring them home and when they saw how big the house was they started to run around playing tag.
 
 I cant beleive that they are already 3 years old.  How much time flies by...
 
 A few days later, Jil came to visit me and she brought me a gift. A pair of arachnea boots. She had made them herself and I must say it's a real piece of work. Told me it would help me while collecting silk near the spiders but she had to leave early so she did not wait for Sonya. Then Dora came to visit me and her too brought us a gift. She bought us a portal that we quickly set up. Again her to had to leave early. I think Sonya will be happy to see that she can now go back to Minstone fast ad without having to disturb Dora in her house.
 
 That Day, I met up with Dalan, Lance and Omer. The 150 was now empty of any tenant and all of them had no real place to stay. I was happy to offer them each a room. Lance took the old room of Elgon, honored to stay were his Cousin had staied, Omer took the old room of Dora, he to felt the strong wave connection in that room and Dalan took Our old room. When they were all set up properly, I showed Lance the home his cousin never saw and that I am sure he would have loved if he had lived to see it. I also told him about our plans to name the guild hall after Elgon, and he was proud at that. I think he will be joining us, but I do not want to push or rush him into anything. If it is what he wants he will come to us as I told him that our doors and arms were always open for him.
 
 *ink trais off across the pageas Tristan pulls on his sleeve*
 
 Oh well guess its time for me to be the entertainer of my children again..
 
 *puts the journal and quill down and the journal asside easy to find for Sonya to read. Kneels on all fors and start imitating a tiger. having the twins run away screaming and laughing trying not to be cought and eating by this big and mean tiger.*

[Hellblazer]

Waiting and still waiting.
  It has been close to a year since I have passed infront of the power that be and they bestoyed me the opportunity to tkae my trials. No news. Starting to be a little frustrating. I have been pasing time by getting to work gem crafting and elavates my skills in alchemy and for doing so I have been going a lot for shrooms and feldspar. Today I was with Sonya to get them and the worse thing could happen. After a year if not more of not seeing her, the sould mother has finaly decided to taste my soul again. My eith visit. Will I ever see my trials?? And poor Sonya, Sarah and Tristan.. and our two unborn childs.
  Sonya asked me to not go there alone anymore and as much as I want to, the sordid truth state that unless I go with someone who can actualy invis me, there is no use to go with anyone that can not. Would be suicide for them to come there. At lest while I am using tactics I know I have a chance.
  On other more interesting things, Tristan seems to be coming alone in his training. Kyle is still not being touched but I can see that Tristan will be getting there fast. He still seems a bit frustrated seeing that it is not a real sword. I wonder how much does he realy understand, it seems to be more instincts for now but he loves the Katas Kyle shows him. Even does it when Kyle is not there and I actualy have to make him stop. When its not swords its imitating Sonya when she is praying.
  As for Sarah, she is just getting better and better at hiding. She is spending a lot of time with Sonya too and for now her rebeilous mind seems to be a bit at bay but not for long. Again when it was time for her to go to bed she made a fit and hid herself. Did not take us to long to fnid her but she is getting better at it.
  And my sweet sweet Sonya. Getting biger by the day Beside realising today and crying about my eith visit that I got right in front of her, she is just peachy. My love for her only grows more stronger and I am strongly concidering taking my rest soon and only take on guild affairs from the safety of home. Not that I am affraid of death, not at all, but with my little family and the bigger family I can not disapear. It would not be fair for SOnya and the kids and it would not be fair for the brothers and sisters that I am bless to work with.
  I dont know what I'm going to do yet.. still need lots of training into gem crafting alchemy and enchanting, not talking about my own craft of infusing which is why I have taken up this regiment with the others, to finaly be able to do my craft without being at the mercy of those who do not provide what I need. I must say I am fed up with this situation and the endless talks that passes over their head without them giving it any thoughts. I am betraying my views and what I wanted the family to be. For us to help each others and not walk on the others craft but I have no choice.
  Oh well enough with this, I want to spend some time with the kids and Sonya.
  *Puts the journal and quill down and goes to play with Sonya and the kids who are already playing tag.*

[Hellblazer]

My dreams, those that were only a few times a month, my nightmares, my pain and guilt, were now almost every night.  So many time was I awaken by Sonya, shaking me awake, looking at me intentivly asking me what was wrong and me answering her that i was just a dream.  I did not want to frighten her, but my poor little Sarah got awaken a few times also, sitting up in her bed tears in her eyes looking at me affraid..  I'm dreaming of that barbarian village that I laid to waste, burning ashes in a sea of bodies and blood.  What used to be only a dream was not getting unreal as a pheonix was now circling over the village while I am laying waste to it.
  *end of the entyr on that page*
  On so the weeks turned into months and the dream getter closer to each others almost daily. Finaly, one day, at the temprary guild room waiting for theguild meeting, with Kyle and Daniel, I receive an urgent noticed from Serissa.  I needed to hurry back to hlint.  That was all that was on the message.  So I hurried my self accompanied by Daniel and Kyle to find Serissa holding Sonya, who was in pain.  Serissa started to hurry us to a house, with Sonya letting moans of pain out.  I heard Barion and I knew he would be able to carry Sonya up to Krandor without even a sweat and I yelled for his help.  He ran to us and saw Sonya almost bened in half, holding her stomach.  He gently grabed her and started to run to Krandor.  After a few hours, Anaya Eloanna, Sil'via Serissa and Elgon where born.  Triplets, we were all astoniched.  The druid had told Sonya that she was awaiting twins as her last pregnancy. They were born in the same bath as Cole was born.
  After that we rejoyced and I asked Daniel, Kyle and Barion to be the god fathers to our new borns. Shortly after Sonya ask Ferrit Sa'kura, who had ran up behind us and aparently fainted a few times while waiting for the children to be born, and Serissa to be the godmothers. All of them graciously accepted with pride, the honour we where given them. And throught the few hours after the birth we celebrated with some wine, laughter and aw in front of the Triplet.  I made Barion hold Elgon, he was so nervous that I thought for a second he would drop him, but he gently move to a safer holding postion as if he had always done so.  Later on Ferrit , Serria, Sa'k and the others got their turn at holding the babies.  Daniel even fell asleep holding Elgon by the fire place. We ended that evening with the guild meeting once Sonya had rested for a few hours.
  *End of the entry on that page*
  Two months passed, and my dream didnt let go of me, Sarah is getting more worried, Tristan sword studies are getting better even more so that I have bruiser to show on how good he swings the padded sword.  My tibia are blue from the hit he gave me while I was sleeping on the couch after a long night of holding Sarah, to comfort her, but mainly to try and not sleep. I decided I needed to talk to someone with wisdome, about those dreams and Kyle was the best and only choice. So I looked for him back in Hlint and found him at the crafthall, where, while he was making me some arrows, i told him about the dreams.  He was as much stumped about them that I was.  After a short while Daniel, and Ferrit joined us followed by Jil and after saying good night to Dalan, me , Daniel, Ferrit, Kyle and Jil decided to go on a topaz run.  As soon as we gout out the west gate, we met up with Lance followed by a Pedler on his horse and pulling a wagon full of goods.  
  That pedler told us that he left Leinon to reach a town in th greay peaks but was stopped by a tribe of barbarians blocking his path and turned him around.  We asked him for more details, and he gave us the descirption of a fire bird tatooed on them. Daniel Ferrit, Kyle and Jil looked at me, wondering, so many coencidencies in his stories, of a tribe destitute of their lands by an attack on their village baring tatoos of a Pheonix.  I hate those kind of coencidencies, so much more after all the months of restless night of having the same dream over and over again.
  We decided it was time to go and take a look when the pedler moved off. And so, Leading the small group we headed for Leilon, where I wanted to trace the road he would have taken.  We entered the High woods and stumbled on some scouts that were not interested in talking, so we disposed of them with enough of ease if not for that woman, the grace and dextirity she showed amazed all of us.  She was esquiving al of our arrows and our swings at the sword. Finaly after a long joust of her against us all she fell. We made way further into to the woods and I found myself a new friend, that I called ogy the bear. Finaly after a long walk we came to the bottome of the grey peacks near a valey with a lake. A beatiful spot realy.
  We looked at the guards we saw from affar and decided to try to parle with them.  Daniel carefully aproched them bearign a white flagged and it worked, they did not attack us.  The leader of the guards started to tell us to turn back and leave what was now their new home and we conviced him we were no threat to them and that we had good to sell them.  Finaly after some persuasion, the guards brought us to his chief.
  Once again there was some long talks with the chief and exchange of goods against some information.  The details he was telling us abou the attack on his village left me no doubts.  They were the Barbarian I had attacked with the wizard in my dream.  The chief gave me some strange look a few time, up until I finished his sentence on the description of the attackers.  It left the group in stupour and the chieftain took a closer look to me.  Finaly realising who I was, he drawed his axe and got ready for a fight.  Ferrit and I did manage to get him to understand that we did not want to fight and that I was haunted by those two memories.  One about the day i went into the forest killed numerous animals and drank their blood, giving me my curse, and the other of destroying that vilage.  I had told him about my revenge lust due to the reported killin of my wife and baby daughter and the kidnapping of my baby son.
  They separated us, me alone in a cell, and the others in an other cell I couldnt see.  The ight went on, and I could not sleep so i sat looking out of the window to the clouded sky awaiting my jugment, as the chief had given me two choice.  Either face justice for my crimes or face the whole village in a fierce battle.  Ferrit had just reveiled to us that she had Cole with her, every one was stunned, and I did not want any of them to get hurt because of my past, so I chosed to face justice.  
  In the morning the came into the cell and blindfolded me.  They brought me on a mountain top somewhere, the route was long adn I didnt remember all the truns and number of steps I took.  Finaly i was blind foled and the chief told me to go talk to their priest and show respect to the Great Pheonix.  I walked up to their shaman and he told me that my coming was a profecy that was now accomplished.  It was forcast that I would come back and seek penitence for my actions.  He told me to go and pay respect to the great Pheonix totem and I did.
  As soon as I kneeled down in front of the totem, a voice resonated in my head.  Telling me that the atrocities could not be atuned and that no actions could repay for my transgretion.  But nontheless, the guilt I had felt all those years, being hunted by that memory and my amnesia, was punishement enough, to the eyes of the Great Pheonix.  He was leaving me to go free, to live, but he had alo a task for me that I was free to choose to accomplish or not.
  He wanted me to give back to the tribe what I had stolen from them, to bring them back to their ancestrial ground, but the path was blocked by beats near the storans crypts.  He asked of me to calm the path and come back to the vilager once the deed was done.  And so I did agree to help them.
  He told me to go, to get my companions and to accomplish this for him.  Then the voice subsided.  I got up and went to the priest and told him of the task.  He already knew about it and had arrange for my friends to be freed.  After giving orders to teh cheiftain, we were all reunited south of the storans area.  
  After telling them of what was asked of me, I told them that I would understand if any of them choosed to disband.  All of tehm stood fast by my side, but Kyle decided, with the approval of all, that it was best not to put Cole in jeopardy and he sent Ferrit back home with him. We moved off, pacifying the path to the storan crypts of the ogres and giants that was on the way.  And as we were making way the ground started to shook.  I asked Jil to take point, as she is the best at hidding fromt eh group after Ferrit was gone, and as she was scouting ahead, the party got ambushed by some ogres.  It did not take long for us to put a end at their vile attempted to slow us down.  
  Once we reach a cliff, we decided to rest.  Even though I had finished resting Some of us had not been able to, taht we got attacked by a worm. It was not at all what I expected.  I had heard stories of such beasts, but this one was not nearly as big and tall as I was lead to beleive. It took us only a moment to disposed of it and we conitnued our way toward the crypts. Again killing off the few ogres we met on the way.  Finaly near the crypts, the few ogres wehre dispatched of, and the ground shooked again, a bigger worm came out from bhind us and since I had already prepared the party, it was once again easily killed.  
  We took a few moments to rest and as soon as it was done, I prepared the others for an other fight.  We waited , and waited and finaly the ground shook.  It was a eral earth quake.  rocks were tumbling down the clif side.  The dust coming off the ground and every thing I was looking at was blurried as te ground shook us around.  This time it was the biggest worm, it stood tall and looked strong. And I saw Kyle, lance and Daniel rushed the beast, While Jil and I was raining a mist of arrows on it.  I would have expected it to be a lot more stronger, from all the stories I had heard, but like all the time I had lead my group to fight, they instinctivly knew to rush at it and stopped it from casting what ever magic it could have.  And in such tehy did and the beast was delt almost without a sweat.
  We waited, looked around, felt the ground.  Run around as Jil told us that our footstpes vibration draw them.  We wanted to see if there was going to be an other one coming out of the ground.  Even the taping of Daniels sword on his shield and my jumping around did nothing to draw an other one. We waited and waited, an hour, two hours, and Finaly on the third we dicided to go back to the barbarians.
  Once we reached teh village, they were now happy to see us, they didnt even blindfolded us when they brought us to the Great Pheonix.  The priest once again told me that it was fortold that I would come back to him and he told me to go and pay my respect to the totem again.  As I bowed then kneel to it, the voice came back to me.  I felt calmed and warmth inside of me.  The great pheonix thanked me from brining back the tribe to its ancestral lands and as a gift he gave me an advice that I will not scribe here but keep in my heart, as it is there I should always look first for my answers.  Then as my second gift, I felt the warmth of a fire engulf me, the peace I was laking in me was now back, I felt the control over my rage I had lost, and the viel, clouding my memories was lifted. As son as the surrounding fire dispated, so did the voice and the warmth I felt inside me.
  I got up and walked back to my group,  They looked at me wondering as they had seen the fire engulf me, but I was fine and I told them so.  The priest told me to keep what the great Pheonix had told me to myself and before going I asked him about my mother and my son.  He told me that he did not know what happened to them, that the ones tha had attacked my house and killed my wife and daughter, were bannished from the village and were now out of the reach of the great Pheonix.  But he still had hope that they would still be alive.
  My search will continue, now not only can I aid Sonya in finding her family, she can help me in finding mine.
  We made our way back to Leilon and I was now able to explain to Jil the reason of my quick study into the Arcan archers way where.  I had already been initiated by my firend Gafeld, but after the attack on the village, we parted ways.  Kept in touch but he never tought me anything after that fearing I would use it again for destructive purposes.  After telling her this, Jil gave me a great gift, She gave me her old Mahogany bow of the hunter which she had enhanced over time.
  Then we parted ways, she went back to her family saying, that we would see wach other soon again. Daniel gave us good news too, he had advance in his studies as a knights in my quest for penitence, so much taht Kyle decided to give him a gift to. From the mentor to the aprentice. We all went back to hlint except fot Lance who neede to get some pelts for his studies. At hlint, we watched Kyle make Daniel's new armor and Daniel was so proud of wearing it that he did not even wait until it was all cooled off to put it on, and he grimaced as he did.
  Finaly after some time of talking we all went back to our homes, not before me and Daniel dying his armor and talking of a certain Tera and how faith should be followed but not blindly.
  So here I am, sitting in bed, Sonya and the triplets sleeping by my side. Draco, Ehlen and Arwin sleeping in a bundle on the ground and Tristan sleeping in his bed but Sarah still looking at me.
  *looks at Sarah and Smiles, Sarah smiles back at him*
  I'm free, I'm compleet again.  My past, my present and my futur, all belongs to me now. I cant wait for tomorow, to tell Sonya all of this.  To explain to Sarah, why i was waking up, but no telling her all the details so she doesn not get bad dreams herself.
  *Puts the quill down and the journal by the bed Slowly gets up and goes to tuck Sarah in her bed and hums her to sleep.  Then he goes back to bed and fall asleep holding his love, Sonya.*

[Hellblazer]

So manythign happened lately that I jsut dont know where to start.
  Firstly adn to my greatest joy, Anaya, Sil'via and Elgon are now 5 months old. Growing so fast its still amazes me. Tristan is growing more confident everyday and still takes sword studies with his uncle Kyle very seriously. I cant imagine or even comprehend how a now almost 4 years old boy is able to take that so swriously and love it so much. I hope it will be a good thing. I have started to show Sarah how to use a bow, she seems to like it, and was very happy that she could spend the hole day with me practicing on the combat dummy at 150 Krandor. I think it would b a good idea to purchas eone and set it up at the house.
  Tristan still pray everyday beside Sonya, it's strange but I think he understand what he is doing, well somewhat. I stil think he is young and I dont want him to be pushed into a belive that he does not understnad or even want. If one day he choses to believe and fully understands what it means, I will support it, like I support his mother in her choices, but I will not push him or even try to convince hi of anything. he must come to his own conclusion about things of this anture else, he would be but a blind fool.
  As to Sarah, ah my sweet little Sarah. She is growing and will become a heart breaker, I can see it. She is reserved and a bit shy, but she has strenght and guts. He hiding skills still grows and one day she will be better than me, maybe even better than Jil or Ferrit at hiding. She still has a temper, hasnt changed much and gets into fits when things doesnt please her, but as a near 4 years old, it never last long. I wil have a hard time keeping the boys of the nabourhood off of her when she is in her teen age. *Smiles*
  Some great news about the guild. We have agreed on a location and there was a building free, so I put a reservation on it. It is well placed and central to most of everything in Hampshire. There is also talks of buying a depot in Hlint so we could store some of our finished goods and have a quicker delevery time for our customers.
  Jil has also join our ranks, I must say that when she asked me all these question I was a bit in wonder why, and when I told her that we where looking for a tinkerer of good expertease she was interested by the proposition. After a talk with the concil, at talk that last less thatn 10 min and everyone was in full agreement, I have sent her a bird asking her to join us at 148. When she got there We have told her of our happyness to have her join our family. I am realy happy to have my mentor to work with. This will be great. we already made some trip together, for oak and for fun. It was some great runs.
  There was also some talks about Elohanna and Cauis. We agreed that both of them would have to spend more time with us before a final decision would be reached. I have been able to talk with Hanna, and she understands the reasons and has promised to spend as much time as she could with us. I told her that a promised was not needed but still its sweet little Hanna. I think that with some time, al from the guild will get to apreciate her gentle nature and her wil to help others. She has what we are lookin for in temrs of understanding in unity, family and honor but like she told me, it has beena long time that she had a sence of family surrounding her. It will grow on her like it did for every one else, I am sure of that. I hepled her today get set up in her room and gave her two of my crates for her to use. She was realy happy for these but also to see the twins again. She handt been home for sometime due to event keeping her in mistone, but nonetheless she was happy and the kids where too.
  Well for all good things there is to be bad things and I saw one during the meeting where Jil joined the family. I know everyone was stressed out by the thing the power that be had befalled us with. The possibility of losing all these cnrs was weighting heavy on everyone, but I hate being thrown a fit at me, when all I'm trying to do is to find solution that will help the majority of the family. I hope this is not a tendency with that person but I guess only time will tell.
  Well more things to do, more time to spend with Sonya and the little family. Hum Sonya my sweet wife, reading a story to all the children at the moment. I wish i was better at drawing, I would make one of that moment. Well its made in my head, thats all that counts.
 
  *Puts the quill and journal down and joins the family in their story telling time*

[Hellblazer]

He knocks on the door of 148 Krandor and hears Kyle yells:
  "come in at your own peril."
   Rain reaches the handle, opens it and enters. All of a sudent he sees Daniel, Ferrit, Jako and Kyle, taking a step back warning Rain to get out of the house, to stay away from them at the risk of getting the plage. Rain sits by the door and trash can and looks up.
  "Its either here or in one of the locked up city.  I have been ordered to be quarentine even if I do not have the sings for now. I cant go back home and risk Sonya and the kids, nor can I can I just raom about and risk the populace. Basicaly, I'm stuck."
  He pauses for a moment then looks up again to them.
  "Any one has a deck of cards?"
  He chuckles.
  Time passes by and he still sits by the door, eating what ever left over he had in his pack. He hears some weeping in the back and some passing in coles room, but he stais there thinking of his Sonya and his five little bundle of joy.
  "Eh one thing more for us, puny being, to hate you for!"
  He state looking up at the ceiling, his statment intended to the dieties.
  "First the war, then the cloud and the cold it brings, and now this plague.. You are a farce all of you, and all of you are the same, the same as pyrtechon. And to say some think that you care for us.. HA! how stupid must they feel now, them who might have the plague themself."
  Then he hears a thud coming from Cole's room and rush to see if Daniel is alright. As he is about to knock on the door he hears the loud and familiar snoring of his friend and also the plates of food that he did not touch.
  "Hum.. Daniel, what ever is troubeling you, not eating will only render you weaker to the sickness.."
  He goes back to the door with some of the food plates, opens it and peaks outside. Seing no one he makes a small fire and uses on caserol to make a stew for the plates he took from Daniel.  Once the stew is done he goes back to Daniel's door with te caserol, Opens it slowly as to not disture him and leaves it obvious to Daniels sight.  
  He then goes back the door and sit his back in the crevase formd by the wall and trash can and falls asleep thinking of his family.

[Hellblazer]

It feels weird and a bit unfair.
  I made a choice today, hoping that this choice would help the others to get the cure faster.
  It started with me Sumoning Ehlen from the window, her outside, me inside. Through the door I talked with her, and explained some of the things that have happened in that day. Then I sent her forth, looking for my good friend Barion, with the hope he might be able to help us.
  I do not know what happened, but it took a long time for Ehlen to come back with some news of barion being doing all that he can to help find a cure. Also, I had explain to Ehlen what I had seeing from Daniel, the blackening of his armor. Ehlen while talking to Braion, and a few others that came to help her find him, got to talk with Serissa. Aparently, Serissa turned in Barion and Daniel to her church for breaking some derelic order. Barion for not brining back the seed, and Daniel for helping a friend, friend he had wouch to protect.
  While she was explaining that to me from teh other side of the Door, Ehlen was starteled and started to talk to someone else. It happens that Plenarius, had read about our predicament and had come to help us. Unfortunatly at the time, all were asleep except for me and he gave me a choice to make.
  Either I waited here with the other in the hope he would come back when they would be awake or he would help me now and send me on my way to help in the effort of finding a cure. Once he asked me to go outside of the house, he explained to me that his power to heal was already in use to cure some people. Although he could heal 6 a day, this power was extreamly taxing his strenght.
  It took me some time to think about it, but I came to the conclusion that it would be better for all of us, if in my effort, I could help in the finding of a cure. But that choice pained me and still pains me, as it is unfair to my friends. Maybe I should have staied with them, if only for support. I don't know, but this is twisting my heart sorely.
  Once he has cured me, he told me to go forth and so I meat with Dora by chance in teh temple of Toran in fort Llast. At first she was scared and steped back, but then I explained to her what had happened and also asked her of what I could do to help.
  "What ever your skills permits you to do."
  When she told me that I decided to go get some aloe, and I am now on a strolling around in the swamps, under invis, looking for some ginger roots. It may not be the cure, but at least it will help with soothing the pain that balste plagues brings to the people. When I have done a few of those potions, I will bring them to Daniel, Ferrit, Jako and Kyle.
  I feal bad, but at the same time I feal god being able to help.

[Hellblazer]

I'm happy!
  Since Sonya went on a few trip lately, she has been glowing. I think she likes being able to go out more since the birth of the triplets, with the help of Hanna, Arwin, Draco and Ehlen. It not only shows on how she carries herself and her smiles and giggles, but also.. wow.. she made a few changes in her wardrobe.. I . well wow!!
  Sarah is still teaching me how to read and write, She knows, i think, that I already know how to read and write, but she keeps at it and seems to like it. I hope it gives her more drive into learning. I also take her out on minstone, training with her bow. Mostly fishing for now, as I dont want to put her in any danger. She is getting better every week, I dont know if she puts as much dedication into her bow learning than her reading and writing studies, but nevertheless, she will become a great archer. And her Hiding skills proves to be to her advantage, still growing in confidence in it and in herself, but she is still shy and keeps to herself a lot.
  Tristan on the other hand. He is growing strong and fast. He is bright even if he doesnt sems to share the same drive as Sarah into his schooling studies. He can read very well, almost as good as his sister, but his writing lacks the delicateness as the hand writing of his sister. But his drive to become better at the bow in unmatched. He studies and studies. Even when he plays he seems to be training. I saw him and Kyle do some Katas and I am proud of him, he can follow Kyle with ease now, even the newer stances Kyle shows him. I'm not sure but I think that when they are sparing, Kyle is finding Tristan a bit tougher lately. He will become strong, he is willed and fast. His dedication to his sword is only followed by the same dedication that he puts in meditating and praying. I dont know how much he understands and I dont want to influance him. Maybe Sonya should talk to him, see if it is only mimicking or if he truly beleives.
  The Triplets are so cute, almost a year old now, walking wobblying and saying some small words like dada, mama and wata. I kove them with all my heart and I hope they will grow to be strong, beautiful, full of hope and possibilities. I have been spending a lot of time with them latly, playing in the grass behind our house. They love to roll around in it and play with Arwin, Draco and Ehlen.
  Hanna and I spoke a long time the last time we where together. She seems in love, but doesnt know how to act on it. I told her that she either had the choice to act and talk to the person or keep to herself and suffer in a slow and painful agony. Either choice will have their concequences, but I truly beleive that she needs to speak to him. I promised her not to tell him so I will even keep it from this journal. But he is someone close to me and the guild.
  The guild is going well, things are moving along smoothly and the guild funds are high. I think that we will have some left overs even after buying and furnishing the guild hall and this is a good news.
  My crafting is growing in power, I am moving along fast and soon I will need to buy an advance crafting badge, my only problem is that the spells i will need, i wont have them until I get an other season as a wizard. But that is going slowly. I seem to have reached a point where nothing is moving. I may be training my craft to much and not enought myself.. I don't know but its slow.
  And Lastly, soon will be the time for me to go on that trip and find her family. I still don't know where to look and the clues has been scarcer than me seing a balor, having seen one only once tells a lot. I just hope to be able to find them, for Sonya, but also for our childrens.
  Well, back to work.. I want to finish this as soon as possible to get back home to my family.

[Hellblazer]

I am speachless.
  I went to Tibum with Hanna today, she wanted to know where to ge the spotted mush, well how to get them safely. I showed her how to and while we where picking up some pearls, we spoke about him.  
  She was confused and said things that were not what they had told me previously. That she was not ready, when I can see for myself that she is ready.  He must ahve said something worse that what she told me. It deosnt matter now, he set the limits and he will have to live with them.  She is a fine woman, spirited and beautiful, it will not take long befor someone to take notice of her. And even if she still has feelings for him now, with time and knowing he has not that kind of interest for her, they will disapear.  I am thinking that he is a fool, no craft is worthy of a man cutting himself from love, nor any duty for that matter.
  On our way back, I showed her where she could bind her soul, and I noticed some of the villagers were still sleeping in tents piched in the mud.  After 9 years I was told, there is still some unfortunates, that were forgoten Even if the mast majority has been taken cared of. It sickened me to see the newly built buildings for the bank, the temple and the minstone alliance, while some people were still getting sick for lacking proper shelter.
   It shook me up enough to talk to Kyle.  The Angels will take a more proactive stance toward Roldem. If the leader of the villages do not want to spend the time and effort to shelter their own people, We will go there and build the darn houses by our own hands.  
  Kyle, Dalan and Daniel will make the wood planks and beems, Jil and Dora will do the nails, once I talk to them, And Ferrit and Jil will make the clotsh for newer and warmer tents untill the houses are ready. I still need to talk to the rest of them to get them set up in this newest tasks.  I dont want them to leave what we are alerady doing, but a lot of effort will have to be made into this relief efforts.
  AFter that wile Ryan was sitting with me and Kyle in teh meeting room, A bird started to picker the front door.  I heard it and went to open it and it flew straight into my facemask, knocking himself out cold.  I tool the message that hehad tied up on his right leg, and read it.
  Daniel was in valenske awaiting his trial and he had called on both me and Kyle to be there by his side.  We rushed over there and after a while, Barion and Jenara joined us.  We entered the temple and it all started.  To my surpise this was not a trial, but he did ask them 3 to go find some allies that had fallen in to the cave of the battle fends whilse searching for a recipy of some kind.
  I can safely said that my skill as a Ranger had never been utilised so much even though a druid was present.  It is a welcom echange, it gives me hope that my kind are still needed. well after batling some trols, gelatinus cube we found the 3 bodies of the dwarfs but no recipe.  At that point the groups splited in two, soem wanted to go back and hand teh bodies to Reus while Me Barion and Drogo staied back looking for the recipy.  
  We had barely  open a door that my ears were confromted with teh familiar noise of a umber hulk.  I told the my two comrades, taht it was wiser to get the others before starting our way pass the hulk.  SO we headeed back, killing some new gelatinous cube and finding ourselves comfronted at our friends being attaked by an other Umber hulk.  I had not idea these things were so though.  I mean when i am in that form I dont feel like I am so hard to disposed of.  None the less and even if Jenara almost died 6 times, We disposed of it and we made our way back to where we have found the bodies. Once there we started to look around one last tiem before heading in to the new room when someone found a whole in the groun.
  Once we squeezed ourself into the hole in the ground and then through a small opening in the cave in taht was blocking our way, we were faced by 2 Umber hulk.  This was a truly hard fight, but we prevailed. And while I was lloking for clues I found a pile of rocks that were intentionaly placed there.  I searched for it and found the recipy.
  Then there was the long talk. The druid wanted to take it to his council and once again leave every one out of the loop, while the others wanted to bring it to Reus.  Finaly after some talks and some questions raised about he motive of Reus, it was decided that a copy would be made in the even that Reus would keep the recipy and not share the information with the Druids.
  The second surprise of the day was that after half an hour he came back with the recipy and handed it back to Barion so he could give it to the druids. And finaly but most importantly, the Edit 33 was recanted, al charges against Barion, Daniel, Jenara and their accusers were dropped. And maybe, just Maybe, the church has grown with this and will now let their own people in the dark about their intensions.
  While boating back to Leilon, Daniel and I met with Jil and we decided to take a trip to dregar. After a long walk and a few fights, we met with Mylindra and a few others in Saudiria. Jil left to spend some time with Daren, her husband, and the rest of us went foward to the caves to look for adventure. Once we were back in Saudiria, I parted ways with them and came here at home.  Sonya leaning on me, on the coach, the kids sleeping, Im taking some tiem to write in this journal.  Something I ahve not done in a while.
  *Closes his journal and put the quill on the ground. and takes Sonya in his amrs s[ending sometiemwith her just holding her dearly.*
Edited: I know that 9 years has past and that the majority would have been taken cared of, but since I had already talked to Kyle prior to getting the ooc information that things were a lot better, I decided to go forth with it and just post that some people where still in the tents even though the majority were taken care of.  Think of it as being the poorest of them all not having the money to afford a new house.

[Hellblazer]

I dont have much to say
  Coming back from Spellguard, i saw the familiar track of Kyle and Jako in haven outskirts. I followed thm to meet them as they were going paste the first room of the cave with Dalan and Ferrit. The trip felt short when Kyle ox died on the third level. After coming back out I went home to pass some time with my greatest love, the kids and eat a little.
  Later on I came back to hlint where Omer asked me to go with a few people to get sapphire, mainly Tegan, falon, Praylor, me and a guy named Tristen. Tegan had an urgency and had to leave, and thats when things started to get nasty.  After talking a little bit with Tristen, to find out he thought himself prepared enought not to take any protection and going down the cave, risking of dying 4 times in the process.  After a while I whispred to Praylor that this would be his suicide if we went on with this trip.
  He got lucky untill we were outsie, Omer went ahead of the group while i was still preparing myself a the cave entrance, and thats where they ambushed as timely as they are always. I invised myself to put myself in a safer position and that when I saw that Falon was getting attacked.  I starting bowing her attaker and my plan worked he left her alone to come to me, by doing so I took a beaten but Omer helped me deal with im.
  After that, and this is the part that is realy disturbing me, I tried to explain to Omer the safer way to get out of this place without getting pinned by teh ambush, and he rebuked on me. Asking me if I wanted him to die and such things. I told him no and that was the reason why i was trying to explain to him the safest way out of there. But in the end I got fed up when he put some of it more back in leilon.  I may have presented him to early to the concil.. I dont know.. I wish i didnt present him to them if he is not ready.  
  Time will tell I guess.
Something is buzzing me a little bit though. Sonya seems so much brighter lately, changed her whole waredrobe. I dont think i changed anything in my routine lately, lots of work to do and I may be deserting her a little, even though I try to spend as much time at home as i can, but I dont know.. I know its not from my actions she is this bright.. I just.. no she wouldnt she promised.but y.. no! One thing for certain, losing her will be losing my center and sanity.   *there is a bunch of scratching over what is writen and he rips the last paragraph out of the journal.*
  *As he regularly does, he leaves the journal open for Sonya to read. Then he goes out and pics up as much flowers as he can possibly carry and lay them every where in the house.*

[Hellblazer]

My feeling just wont subside,
  I dont know what is happening, if something is happening, but I dont want to take any chance at all.  I sent Sonya a letter since I can not find a peaceful moment to speak with her. Not only that but i went to get her more gifts. The Flower I had gotten her have not moved. Did she come home at all?
  This is killing me slowly, not knowing, unsure of what used to be sure. I trust her, but at the same time, I cant hide the fact that I have not been all of what I had promised her to be. I hope that this will only atune a little what she could be feeling. I must make an effort to be there even more than what I have tried.  It's one thing to be home with her and the kids, but I have to be there for her and her only.
  In Anycase, I almost got my amrs ripped from my body today by Dalan, Daniel and Kyle to do something in the hosue that was lacking for a while. But having used all my funds to buy her gifts, it meant for me to walk over all my principles and let them help me with what I should have done by myself only, or with Sonya.
  I cant think of this more, I am about to go crazy.  What caused these changes in her, her waredrobe, to make her wish to leave her leadership position within the guild...
  *Puts his draft of the letter he sent her in between the pages, gets up from the couch and goes to tuck in the kids, then heads for their bed, he sighs*
 
   My love, precious one, the holder of my heart  I know I have not spend as much time with you as I should have. I have tried to spend as much time at home with you, my love, and the childrens, But nevertheless I feel it has not been enough.  I want to spend more time to cherish you as I promissed that faithul day in ranger vale and I want us to start looking for your family without anymore delay.  Please know that you hold my heart, my soul and my destiny. I would not ask you more that you can do or give, I only want your happiness.  You helped me through my curse, centered me, made me the man I am today, without you I am nothing. I love you, and no matter how stupid I can act or how far from you I may seem. Do know that you are always in my mind, my heart and my soul.  There is not one minute, not one second that you and our lovely childrens doesnt weight in every decision and steps I take.  I am yours in the past, now and the future.  The man you saved, with all my love, Rain In'Darsus Threas, Febra 19, 1409

[Hellblazer]

*Slips a peace of parchment Under the door of Elohanna*
   
    I write this with good health of body and mind, in the eventuality of my untimely death.

       This is my will, Please keep it until it is ready to be red.

    I leave my house and all furniture's to my lovely wife, if she is not fit or there to take care of it, I leave it to the guild. May it bring her shelter for the future she will have.

    My bows, belt of acquisition, gloves of the scout and blue sued boots, to my daughter Sarah. May your wit and force of will guide you to use these with diligence.

    My Katana, shield and grizzly armour to my son Tristan. May your might and convictions bring justice and hope to the people you will meet.

  My dearly companion in travel and combat, Meelam, I leave her into the care of my wife Sonya. It is hers to ride.

To my lovely triplets, Elgon, Anaya and Sil'via and to Elyam my hope for the family tradition, I leave you all the funds that I will have at the moment in the Bank. That money will be administrated by your mother for you.  I wish I will live long enough to see them all grow into the marvellous person I see already in them. But one would be foolish not to prepare himself for all eventualities.

    I ask the Angels, to continue in their work toward bringing hope to the people. Do not let greed be your guide but the same love you share for each others

  I leave the house of Krandor 138, to the guild leader that will take over when I leave this world. I wish that it remains under the trusmantship of Elohanna untill the day she is ready to open her own half way house. After that it will be her decision to continue and run the rental house or leave that to someone else.

Upon my death, I name Kyle leader of the family until the time and if  it is his wish, and that Tristan is old enough for him to sit in the seat of leadership I have been seated in. It was and still is my dream from the begining, when I first mentioned it to Sonya, that one day one of my blood would follow in my foot step and continue the work of this family business and the family name.

    To all my friends, I leave you with what ever memories I have been able to touch you with. Know that I was a happy man, loved to an almost oblivion my beloved wife Sonya and my six little bundles of joy and wonders.

    As time is given to me, and if my situation would change, I will be adding more to this will, but this covers all for now.
 
  Singed Rain In'Darsus Threas, *scratches the date*Mar 12, 1409  
Revised on  Freas, Febra 20, 1415
     
    *he goes back to his room and sit against the wall and sighs*

[Hellblazer]

I love them so much, all of them and it pains me.
  Thing has resolved themselves between me and Sonya. Once agani I was a fool, a fool in love. I dont know waht to say but until todays event Losing her was my only fear. Part of my fear came true but were completly washed away by her swet words. I have come to see him as a brother, yo uhave nothing to worry about. I must say that the way she said it sounded like there could have been more, but I dont care anymore. Not after today.
  The day started so well though. Me and Hanna got her to advance into her craft it was a great time that was only darkened by my death to the mushroom man east of pranzis. After getting back to my grave and going to help Ferrit in roldem I decided to go back home
  I was at my house, When I saw kyle sitting at the neibhours house, he had forgoten my adress silly him. I went him and saw that the kids were playing in their room, Sonya resting in bed, when Kyle came in. After talking for a little bit, Ferrit arrived, followed by Jil. I went ahead and showed them the furnitures i was enforced to buy, and its then I saw that Sonya had gotten up. We all talked for some time, untill Daniel and Omer showed up to. After a while Omer left and we all decided to head for some action.
  We went to the mist forest where we met with Hawklen and Jil had a lot of things to say to him. I was hoping to persuad him to come with us, but after seeing how he reacted, I understood that he would not be of help to us. BIG mistake. Up untill the moment we reached the last level, every ting was fine. Then as Ferrit was luring some giants, she was taken down by a spell I had never seen. Fortunatly she did not get a visit. we exited the cave and when i got her message trown over the trees with a tipless arrow, I invised my self to go and get her, but I passed her while she was sneaking passed the Giants. I got her back to her grave with the group follwoing us under invis, and she proposed that we should continue foward to salvage the trip. No one objected and we continued on.
  Thats when things got ugly. After dealing with the first Giants, we proceeded to the back of the of the cave and that where I we tried to use tacticsc to our advantage. They didnt go for it and some of us decided to rush them as ferrit was starting to get attacked. It didnt take long that Kyle fell Folloed by Daniel then my love sonya and to finish Ferrit again. I decided that it was time to leave, but to late. Jil went to invis herself, I got followed by a Giant and he ran after me a long time, as i was running in circles waiting for Jil to come and help me. She was occupied trying to save Kyle that was bleeding to death and Daniel. Then I saw her running beside me, well what i coudl see anyways since she was invis. and its at that point that the Giant got me. I looked over my body as the giants just shreded it apart as the soul mother was ripping an other strand of my life.
  I found myself back to the bindston in hlint. I had a choice to make to go back or to stay there but I was not going to leave the body of my wife to be played with by the Giants so I headed back to the cave. I was furious. I saw jil invis herself but didnt come to aid me. I must have run in circle for a good 5 min to no prevail. I rushed into the cave under invis, not caring the Giants that were present and I got to my grave as I saw Ferrit and Q run pasedd by me followed by jil. I did not speak to any of them and i rushed back up. I stood there out of sight for a long time, I was Hoping Q would be brining my wife up, but he did not. Jil came to me and looked at me for a while before asking me if I would be alright, but I did not answer her. Then as I was going back to My house I saw Sonya all ghostly and invis passing by me to get her grave. I stoped near Dalos lake and just slumbered to the ground. Later on Sonya joined me followed by Kyle, and I told them both that I had had my 9th visit. Sonya and Kyle were stunneed, they couldnt beleive it, then Sonya jumped in my arms crying. Kyle decided best to leave us.
  We talked there for a shortwhile when we saw jil rush pass us on Symphony. Then Sonya felt like she needed to be with the children and I couldnt agree more. So we went back home. As soon as we entered, Sonya ran to the kids picked them all up and went t our bed where she laid there weaping. They didnt understand what was happening, and i told them that Daddy had an acident but like I told Sonya it was nothing to worry about. I laid holding Sonya who was holding the children untill they all fell asleep but I could not rest I needed to speak with the only person who could have saved me but had not done so. So I gently got up and went to her house.
  I knocked once, twice and on the third she opened the door. She looked at me, she was mad and sad to, i dont know if she cried but she was torn up and it showed. She invited me to her living room, and I followed her. We sat, me against the floor her in one of her couch, before we actualy shared a sentence. She explained to me that she was actualy trying to save both Kyle and Daniel when I was running around like a chicken with no head. I was still a little bit mad, but those feeling subsided as our conversation went on. It passed to what had happened in the cave to what I would now be doing from now on. After we kept talking for a while she was tired and still torn up but the fatige was overbearing her and she ask me if I minded, if she could retire. I was tired to but I could not go back home yet so I asked to use her portal and I headed to hlint, where I sat by the pound for hours on end. Conteplating my fate. I headed home, tucked the whole family under our sheet and joined them. Good thing I bought a bigger bed.
  I dont know what the future holds for me. But one thing is for certain I tend to live old. If it means for me to leave my adventuring days, so be it. But I will not leave Sonya a widowed with 5 chilrens to take care of. And the day that I will be finaly seing the Soul mother. I will be taking her down with me. I swear it by all that I love.
  *Puts the quil down with the journal and blows out the candle. He then turns back to hold Sonya again and falls asleep*

[Hellblazer]

*Comes home from a long day of walking aimlessly, a few crafting moment and the guild meeting. he walks to his room and sees on its way there that the family is asleep*
  "Darn" *he whispers* "I came late again."
  *he goes into their private space, walking as silently as he can, and take his journal, ink and quil from the desk near the bed. He then walks to the living room and sees the combat dummy.*
  "What the heck happened here??"
  *He comes closser and sees that it had been schredded, slasched multiple times. In the weapon rack not far from it, he sees the padded Katana, and a new Dagger*
  "Oh! guess Kyle stepped to the next phase of Tristan training. Guess I'll have to by a new combat dummy too"
  *He turns and head to the couch. Put his items on it and move to the fire place, stuffing 2 log into it. Stares into the fire for a few minutes and sees it grow to a vivive and criptting flame.  He then moves back to the couch, takes his items and sit. He looks again into the fire then open his journal and starts to write*
  Sonya's Brother Lex'or is alive and aparetnly taken of Hanna. I'm so happy for Sonya, but worried for Hanna.
  I dont know what to realy make out of this. From what I am told he has been in town for 3 months, barely. Kyle adn Ferrit tried to reassure me that he is a good man, a cleric of Aeridin, but my guts feeling tell me to protect Hanna.  After all, she is the closest person I would have to be as a sister to me. Yet she hasent spoken to me yet about this man. After our talk of that previous special person, I would realy have thought she would have come and see me and tell me about Lex'or.
  I'm not to sure what to do, even though i'm pretty sure it is not my place to do anything. But like a brother, I just can't let her get hurt, not after what she told me happened, after talking with the person her heart preciously loved, under my guidance. i dont know, but I know what she would tell me. Have faith.
  I'm starting to feel like a shadow. There but not realy there. I walk aimlesly around town here and in hlint. talking to the few people that opens dialog with me. Sitting and staring at the pond for hours. Although today was a bit diferent.  There was the guild meeting and ferrit asked me to make her two wands of stoneskin. I was glad for the change of pace and the excitement of doing something. Well I'm glad to say that I made them both and gave it to her when she just apeared out of no where, with a leopard. It was Ryan talking to me in animal Language. I gave her both wands and went back to my walking aimlessly, the excitement being over.
  The guild is doing well, the members seems happy, Ideas are being exchange for the guild hall.  Guild hall that I have receive bad news from the contractor. He wouldnt say it as such, buts that the feeling Kyle and I got.  The inspector, batched his job and when it was time for the contractor to redo the bricking, he found out that part of the structure was being eaten away by termites.  Since it his inspector fault, he wont charge us more, but it will take more time as they have to redo the structure. it's a minor step back that gives us more time to put more money asside.
  Well such is my life lately. Nothing exciting.  I am pleased though, of the time I pass with Sonya and the kids, when I do not come in to late from my walking around town. Guess thats my fate, and a fate I welcome. Grow old and see my family grow.
  *Closes the journal and goes back to their private space as quietly as before. Puts his journal in view of Sonya, so she can read it if she wants to. Undresses and climb in bed holding his beautiful and wonderful wife close to him. Looks at her untill he falls himself asleep*

[Hellblazer]

*Sits on the couch at home, the kids playing in front of the fire place. He starts to write in his journal*
  Things are starting to clear up a little.
  I dont realy know wht to make of this lass, but Sonya seems to have found a new friend in this Christine. Such a flirt she is, not even scacred to say iw as cute in front of my wife or calling her hotlegs in front of me. Sonya seems amused by it and I think they could become good friends.
  I went out with them on a small trip to Berhagen, passing by the golems and playing with them and after that the giants. Had a few close calls though, made me pause for a minute but in general that was a good trip. I was so happy to finaly do something with my beautiful lady again, beside just being at home. Although I won't make this to much of a habbit, I will try to go with her on a few of her training runs, just to be close to her.
  We had a great time, joked, laughed, held each other and such. I love so dearly, that some times it pains me. Not because i am scared for her, well yes! I admit it, I am scared for her, for the kids, the family. I am still young and leaving them nwo, would be just a waste.
  Tristan is growing to be much more powerful than his fool of a dad, his sword play is quite spectacular, I think he even surprises Kyle somewhat. The poor new dummy I just bought is already schreded to pieces. He still prais to lucinda everyday, kneeling either by himself or when Sonya is herself praying.
  Sarah is becomeing a very beautiful young lady, pity is the you man who will try to use her. She is so bright, my little white lie about not knowing to read does not work anymore. She found my accounting books and knows that I know how to read. She was a litle bit upset but soon started to laugh. We read often together now, I let her read though so she can get better.
  Elgon.. my sweet elgon. He loves to sing that one. Cant get him to stop. But like his big brother, he loves to play with the padded sword that used to be his brother. He's just as bright as Sarah was at his age.
  Sil'via Seems to ahve picked up an interest in Draco as her mother. Found her hanging around Sonya when she is studying her dragons book. Quite cute.
  Ayana, is Ayana, a little prankster at time, then gentle like an angel. Today she puts an egg in both my boots, I was a bt flustered but after seing her sweet face looking at me saying what dady? I just started to laugh. She even took my boots and cleaned them without even asking or me asking her to clean her prank. She's such a sweety.
  As for the rest of the Family all seems fine, except that Daniel got his 7th visit and that he is in love. Tegan, if she ever feel onpenly teh same for him, will bless him as much as he will bless her. Hanna seems to be in heaven, she glows and hums a little when she comes home after a day with Lex'or. I guess I was wrong about my feeling. I will ahve to talk to her again see if things evolved. And I am so glad of the news that Ferrit gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Aylana.
  I'm just Happy, I live still an other day with my friends, children and my wonderful, beautiful wife.
  *He puts the quill away, blows a little on the page so it dries and closes his journal. He then gets up and decide to make dinner for the Family while Sonya is playing with the kids.*

[Hellblazer]

Things are well again,
    It has been a while since I decided to write in my journal, mostly due to being doing this and that, and spending a lot of time with my little family. But as of late I have been going on long trips with a friend named Ranéwin, sometimes alone, sometimes with Sonya or Hanna. I wished Sonya would come more often as I love going on trips with her and its good for her to.
    After multiple trips with Ranéwin, it was obvious to me that we were getting well together so I started to search if she had what would be needed for her to join our family and I was glad to see that she had what it took, so I talked to her about the Angels. She looked interested and agreed that she would give it a try. After talking to the family as i found them she was invited to one of the meeting and greeted into the family by all the members present.
    We continued on our regular trips but this time with more members of the family and still some just her and I and through our strenuous training, not by the difficulty but by the length that some took us on, I felt like i was on fire. I can’t really explain it, but its like every time that i took my bow string in between my fingers that something was going to happen.
    Finally, and i is so fitting, It is with Jil, my mentor of the arcane archers way, that my power manifested it self for the first time. I was happy and I think it showed. Even after my successful trials to become an arcane archer, it took me a long time to see every thing pay off. But I am still careful, it is not because I have new powers that i must go headstrong and think I am invincible. I am, for now, the invisible buffer, healing where i can and making sure that my family is well protected when we are together. In that process, making sure that my little family will be with me so much longer.
    A few weeks previous to all of this, I finally met with Rhizome, I was passing by on my newly acquired horse that I named Meelam, which means River in elvish as she is fluent, running as flowing as a river can be, without any sudden move or jerking from fear of something new, when I saw him sitting on the badger hill with Rhynn and Ozy. I didn’t know it was him at first but I sat with them after asking them if they minded and the discussion was about the seeds and other things. I listen very carefully to him then and even more when Rhynn pronounced his name.  I had finally met him after 6 years of searching for him. Their talk lasted a long time and I listen inventively and taking a few notes as time passed. Finally when thing started to wander on some joking from them I decided to asked him if we could talk privately.
    We headed into the forest and we talked a little about myself, but mostly I asked him about the great Oak which he was glad to offer more than what he had shared on the hill. I was happy to finally hear that story from him. I also mention about how I felt the druids where losing their ways, their blindness to find the seeds at all cost, and from talking to a few of them, their stubbornness at wanting to heal the broken forest, without even being sure of what was the true meaning of the seeds other that what they told us. I was going to propose to him the forming of a new council where not only the Druids and ranger would sit, but also a representative for each church and 3 for the people but after the things he said on the hill about the to'leflore not wanting us to pursue healing the broken forest, no mater the reason, I understood that it was best I proposed to him to confiscate the seeds all together and hid them hidden where only him would know where they would be.  He told me he would take serious consideration of this and I believe he would and will.
    As we were going to rejoin the others, i told him about one of my dire wishes that no one knew of before.  It is on my mind since even before my trials, how long exactly I do not know, but many years. I told him that I would be honoured to be sitting at the council of nature as being part of the council. His answer surprised me greatly.
    "It would most likely be the council honour to have you sit with them"
    Just that he thought it would be their honour to have me with them, made me very happy, a bit proud even but not overly, just that i feel accomplished somehow. I asked him what was needed for me to prepare for that and he told me that nothing needed to be done. All that was needed was to be wise and thoughtful; his he said he saw I already was. That made me even happier.
    It is shortly before going with Jil on that trip, that something a bit peculiar happened. I was walking toward the eastside of Hlint to meet up with my wonderful half, that I felt I was being followed.  It was intense but i could not pinpoint any location for say. So i changed direction a few times, using my skills at listening, and spotting to see if someone was behind me.  Finally I swiftly changed direction again now passing tot eh right of the temple toward Hlint and then again going back toward the road when i saw a set of tracks. Near the road I heard a female voice.
    "I could slice your throat, right here and now"
    I smiled a little at that phrase.
    "And why would you do that?"
    I said, which she answered, I wouldn’t.
    "I am here to play a little game with you"
    At that precise point Sonya appeared on the other side of the road and she was moving toward me when I motion her to not come.  I am sure she was a bit wondering what was happening as she could se me talk to, what would be myself, but she moved on a little with her ox.
    "A game that if you fail, will make you lose your standing, find me"
    The voice stopped and i looked around and found no one. So i went back at looking at the tracks searching for them sometime losing them. At one point I heard Sonya, exclaf herself
    "What the hell!"
    And I went to her. I explained to her that someone decided to play a little game of hide and seek with me. She asked me who, but I couldn’t tell. Finally after not seeing any tracks I decided to cal upon Arwin, I showed him the first pair of tracks that led me close enough for her to talk to me and right away he sniffed her sent in the air and ground. Slowly we I followed him as he moved through town sniffing around and pointing. Until the time that his sent was thrown off by a piece of meat she had left.
    "Go ahead boy you deserved it non-the-less"
    And he ate the meat.  It was obvious that she was cunning and that she was now keeping her distance because of Arwin, so I called upon Ehlen to and after given them both some task and seeing them off to them, I started to search for her tracks again
    He tracks lead us around Hlint, obviously she was trying to throw me off, but i kept at it, I was determined not to fail. The tracks finally lead Sonya and I to the northern part of Sielwood, where i found a broken leaf intentionally left at a precise point. Arwin flared something and moved toward it carefully and he stopped and pointed. I asked him what was wrong and followed his gaze where i found saw a brown bear.  Sonya was a bit taken a back from its sight but I told her to remain calm. Arwin was almost a statue as he remains extremely calm almost like reading into my mind. The bear tried to look menacing and I tried to calm him down when he decided to rush at me.  I stood tall showing no fear, Arwin by my side the perfect mirror image of myself, the bear still stampeding at us and he stopped a few feet in front of me. He started to raise himself tall, gesturing and growling menacingly, and I could hear Sonya behind me whispering
    "Oh god...»
    There I stood looking straight in he bear eyes, tall as an oak and steady as a bricked wall. Even though this was my posture I still talk softly and calmly to the bear, and he calmed down a little. In bear language i asked him why he was trying to scare us and if he was hungry and at that point he took a bite out of my arms but not enough to injure me seriously he stopped there looking at me a bit perplex and when he saw i was not going to attack him he moved of trotting slowly away. I turned back to see Sonya, eyes wide. She looked at me then at my arm and asked me if I was alright which I replied o her I was.  I also told her that most animals are more scared of us than us of them and it is usually the reason why they attack, to defend them selves.
    As i was going back to the leaf I realised that there was usually no bear in these part of the woods and we headed back where we had seen the bear to find that he had vanished without a trace. I was a bit stumpt as I thought that it was probably sent by the ranger, and that if i followed it would eventually lead me back to her. Sonya mentioned that I should ask around to the animals, and it was indeed a good idea. But at first glance the Bear had scared the animals away.
    "Where is a squirrel when you need one?"
    As soon as I said that i heard on in a near by tree. I went to him and in squirrel language I asked him if he had seen someone that he was not used to see in the woods, right away he pointed with his nose to my right, I gave him a nut that i had picked up which he swiftly took from my hand and ran back up the tree. I took a few steps in the direction mention by the squirrel and search thoroughly with my sight, finally I found her.
    "You succeeded although you should still work on your skills, they seem to be a bit lax, and maybe you have relied a bit too much on your magic lately"
    I agreed and asked her why she was here, she told me to help me find my own questions answer. My question was obviously why?  She explained to me that she was sent to track me down and test me in my ranger’s way. I asked her who sent her but she kept silent, I had my idea though and as she wouldn’t answer my first question i said, smiling,
    "Ah well I probably know who sent you."
    She looked at me surprised and asked me who i thought it was an i named Rhizome, again she stood there silent and I knew from analysing her that she would not reveal who it was no mater how long i asked her. She finished by stating that I might be tested again and handed me a token for succeeding my test with a warning that, should I fail the next one i would have to give the token to the person who tested me. Then she walked off and as she was, I told her.
    "Say hi to Rhizome for me"
    She stopped and started to walk again.
    Sonya looked at me surprised and asked me if I had met Rhizome, I told her yes to which she told me that i was a lucky person. She told me that she was looking for him to ask him about the great oak and I told her that if I wanted I could tell her of the tale that Rhizome told me. She was glad and we made our way back to the fire camp near Hlint. There we sat together, her laying her head on my lap i told her about the to’leflore, rhizome and the great oak. After being interrupted by two man we decided to go back home.
    I laid in bed and it took me a little while to fall asleep, while Sonya was already sleeping soundly, a little smile on her face that was leaning against my shoulder. I was looking up on the ceiling wondering if it was actually Rhizome that had sent that ranger to test me. Finally and comfortably with my precious sleeping soundly on me her arm holding me across the chest to my left shoulder, I slumbered into peaceful rest.
    The next few days after that, was me and Arwin, sometime with Anaya my daughter that wanted to go out with me in the woods. I re-immersed myself to my ranger’s ways, studying tracks, teaching Anaya how to recognise the track of a dear from one of a squirrel. Like me she loves squirrel and it seems squirrels loves her back a lot. It was a peaceful and enjoyable trip with my little princess, not that I prefer her from he others, but I sense that she has the strongest tie to nature than any one of them.
    A few days later I saw Ozy and Talan Va'lash talking in Hlint and I asked them away to talk to them. I exposed them the testing i had been put through and showed them the toke. I also asked them if they knew any group that would test rangers this way, even if i had not applied to any group, but my wish to be part of Natures council. They were stumped and could not say if any group they knew would do such a testing to someone who had not applied to be part of their ranks.
    So without a definite answer, the only way I will find out truthfully who is testing me, I will have to keep training and enhancing my skills so the next time I am to be tested I am more ready than I was then.
      *he puts the quill down and blows on the pages so the ink dries. then he set the journal where Sonya can find it and read it, if she wish too, then he goes on the rug placed in front of the fire to play with his 5 children under the amused look of his wife.*

[Hellblazer]

//OOC:  
This Dairy post has an IG conversation in it. It is to be read as if you are reading a novel and not to be taken in game unless, of course, you were close enough to hear it. Both me and Silver have talked and agreed that I should post it as it is written.
 
Life is going fast by to fast to keep track.    There are so many things that have happened since my last entry that I’m subjugated, and unsure of what I should be writing down.
    I had my cards read by an elf called kali, 3 cards, and 3 points in the timeline, the past, the present and the future. She asked me to close my eye and put my hand on the cards, to clear my mind of all thoughts and then when she felt I was ready she asked me to open them. And she turned the first card.
    The water elemental.  The elemental is centered on the front of the card; beautiful sprays of green and blue fill the background in glimmering colors that would make eve Mist proud
    It was upright to me, and it was the card of my past. It meant triumph over adversity, overcoming life's obstacles... As she looked at it she told me that  It seems that a period of decisiveness and ambition in achieving my goals, led  to a well deserved victory of sorts, I thought immediately at my trials to become an Arcane archer and How the Great phoenix had restored my memory. But she smirked lightly at me and said that it could refer to my recent Achievement as an archer of the arcane.  But, it could refer to something else.
    The she turned the second card and said: The second card reveals your present days, how they are lived due to this past achievement. The second image was that of a man, standing behind a desk full of scrolls.  He holds a candle in the air and their seems to be some sort of magic around him. The card was up right to me. The mage...
    Your present reflects your self discipline and a willingness to take risks... You've since developed an ability to recognize your own potential, the power to initiate, communication and wit...  
    She told me with a smile now turning the third card but this time the card revealed Kali seems to focus on it, as if she herself did not expect this card.  The card is that of a vagabond traveler, who seems to be basking in the sun while approaching a seriously steep cliff unknowingly. The card this time however is in the orientation that made it upside down to me.
    The fool...
    She started to explain what this card meant. That in this reversed orientation he represented impulsive action, choices and rash decisions... it seemed I became too confident in all the good that came of the achievement in my past and present. That I would suffer a period of Foolishness, gambling, instability and the wasting or frittering way of this new achievement
    "It is a bad time now to make commitments as the card is an indication of someone who starts new things, but does not finish them"
    I was a bit perplexed at this card as it represented so many things that are not me.
      «You may seek a change, and that will be how you end up on this path. Beware becoming too comfortable in your achievements... or you may lose more than you think...»
    Quietly she finished as she scooped up the cards into the deck. I thanked her and nodded, telling her that I knew what to look out for, and she did back and added.
    "Indeed.  It is only the future you will see, should you remain on the path you tread now."
    We kept talking for a while then I got up and excused myself and left to come home to my family. The kids were sleeping in their bed; again Elgon was almost falling gout of his bed uncovered. So I tucked him back in and he held my arm there for a little while as with my other hand I gently brushed his hair thinking of the card reading. Then I went to bed and slept a good night sleep holding my wife in my arms.
    A few evenings later, me and Sonya found ourselves sitting on the bench near the pond in Hlint. She started talking about the fishes that she was staring at, but the way she talked about them I knew there was something that was not right. It took some time but she finally opened up to me. Telling me that sometime she wondered how things would be if things were different, that those things looked nice but still scared her somehow but that like those fish, she loved what she had and wouldn’t trade it for nothing.
    R: and what are those things that scare you, my love?  S: some say I should follow my heart. Yet my heart is mostly filled with the love of magic, my children and my husband.  R: but?  S: the other small bit of my heart, thing this it says scares me. For I know what it can do if I give in to it.  R: tell me of them  S: let’s just say that if I give in to that small, very small part of my heart. I fear the rest will disappear. And without the rest I'm afraid I can not live.   R: love don’t be scared... what is that small part
    Sonya closed her eyes and a few tears came out of them.
    S: those are things a married woman should not do. And I'm happy most of my heart and my soul say no to them. To those things.
    My mouth opened a little looking in the water then with a bit of fear in my I closed my eye.
    R:  what are they... please  S: yet it still scares me.  R: we promised to be completely honest to each other after my death at the firesteep, don’t be scared to be with me  S: I'm not scared to be with you. I love being with you more than anything.  R: don’t be scared to be honest  S: well..... You’re the only person I ever dated. The only one I ever kissed and all.   R: and...  S: sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have tried to gain more experience. Before settling down.
    I looked at her unsure I wanted an answer
    R:  did any thing ever happen that I should be aware of?  S: from what I remember?...... no nothing to be scared of. My love.  R: and what is this suppose to mean from what you remember?  S: there was one time that I got so drunk I don't remember a thing from what happened that night. All I remember is waking up the next morning and one of the women watching over me. Everyone there said nothing big happened I... I trust them.  R: tell me what you know love, without hiding anything  S: well. I was with Barion and Chrissy that day. I believe one more person but I'm not sure. It to blurry. We all went into the house of Barion in ...... haven I believe.
    I listened
    S: And there we had a drink. I think I had too much to drink. because I only remember walking up the next morning with a head ache and being a bit.......  well lets just say I was filled with emotions like sadness, happiness fear, all of those really.
    I continued to look at the water and listing
    S: Chrissy tolled me she and Barion tried to make me sober. In a bath dub since Barion had experience with it.
      I frowned at the notion of Barion putting my wife, my love in a bath tub at his house, I frowned that he never had told me about it. I was mad at him for letting Sonya get drunk this way.
    S: I guess I was to drunk to let it have any affect on me. It was in the days after that that I decided not to drink like that anymore.  R: I get the feeling there is more  S: Chrissy said something I just don't know what to think of.  R: what did she say?  S: she said she kissed me, but I don't know if it was on the cheek or the forehead or.... on the lips.
    I felt her pull me closer into our embraced not wanting to let me go. My heart was aching, I couldn’t open my eyes that had just closed and my mouth was gaping. I was shocked and sad.
    S: I hope I can forget about it one day.
    I took a deep breath
    R: I must know... did you ever desire any other man?
    She did not answer right away, for me it felt like an eternity before her voice was heard, I'm sure she could feel my heart pumping so hard in my chest. The more the time passed and the scarier I got, dreading the answer that she was going to give me.
    S: No not that I can remember. Well maby one but those feelings turned out to be more like brother and sister thing. nothing to worry about. And I just remember us talking nothing more.  R: Barion...
    I knew it... it was more that what she had told me in haven, she did had her moments where she wanted to be with him as more than friends, as lovers, and it hurted, hurted bad. And with how she was telling me she did not remember the night when she was drunk, and that Barion had let her drank, I was thinking more and more that something might have happened. The change in her attitude and wardrobe at the time had led me to believes something was wrong and now it was confirmed, that even if at Haven she told me there was nothing between the, obviously she had had other feelings for him than just friends. I was about ready to leave but then she spoke again.
    S: I never had feelings for an other man like I have them for you.
    My eyes were still closed in pain.
    R: yet somehow it’s not enough  Sonya Darsus: what do you mean.  R: there is still part of you who don’t feel complete
    She looked Frustrated at what I had just said, and even if I was not looking at her, mad, sad slowly reaching the discusted point I could hear it in her voice.
    Sonya Darsus: yes and to be honest I have know idea what it is that should be there it irritates the hell out of me.
    At that point I could bare it anymore; I was feeling my rage inside of me wanting to scream at her. I couldn't hold her in my arms, on that bench so I got up and walked away. A few steps away, but still, I left her there on the bench alone and I was looking in the water trying hard to not lose myself in my rage. But she came to me. She held to me even if I did not want to be touched by her and she spoke.
    S: do you think it could be because I still don't know what happened to my father and sisters?  R: I don't know...  Sonya Darsus:  I hope it is. I don't want to lose you or the kids.
    I was fighting for my sanity, my heart and my reason against my beast, my curse my undoing. The more I fought it the more her hold in her arms gave comfort even if I was mad as hell, infuriated at her for allowing her self to have those feelings for someone else.  I was breathing hard and then I took an immense breath and slowly let it go and seemingly regaining my composure. I turn slightly toward her and I looked at her. Her beautiful face, this woman I had married for better or for worse, till death would be the one separating us. I looked at her intensely, in her hazel eyes and I wrapped my arms over hers, realizing that I had almost pushed her away and lost her, not just from that moment but from my heart. As I did she wrapped her arms even more tightly intertwining her fingers in my back.
    S: losing any of you would be like... losing my family again like I did so many years a go  R: you won’t lose me this easily
    She smiled a little relieved
    S: I hope so.  R: but I will be honest, I wouldn’t be able to live with you seeing someone else it is the only thing that I would not be able to forgive wither it be a kiss or you sleeping with someone else
    As I spoke these words she moved her hand through my hair past my ear and she smiled softly.
    S: I won't let something like that happen.
    I nodded once, gently and laid softly a hand on her cheek.
    R: I will also be as honest as you have been the time where I thought you and Barion were seeing each other an evil part in me awoke I felt like the time I massacred the village I attacked the town of Llast
    When I said that her gentle smile disappeared and I could see her eye saddened but still listening to me
    R: Kyle tried to reason with me but I kept casting fireballs on the houses. Finally I arrived in front of the guild depot and I was about to attack it to
    She stood back a little and she shivered a bit, a small bit of fear could be seen in her eyes
    R: when Kyle put himself between the house and I, he could see my rage as my eyes were glowing, I was about to cast when he told me that if I attacked it our friendship would be over and he would retaliate taking me down. I almost let go of the fireball but I couldn’t, instead it fizzled into my hands. He explained to the town authority and pledge for me
    She started to softly smile again but there were tears in her eyes    R: Sonya I fear you are the only thing holding me at bay from becoming that. I fear that if I ever lose you for what ever reason I will not be able to stop myself from turning evil and what I did to the barbarians is nothing to what I am able to do now. I have grown too much in my powers that I feel I may not be able to control them if I lost you
    She caressed the side of my head with shaking hands and smiled with tears in her eyes and of fear.
    S: My love for you is too much to let that happen.    R: the day you fell in Pranzis, I understood that you were my world and that I could not survive without you and now I understand that my amnesia was more a blessing than a curse. As much as I fell into my rage and got closer to the soul mother, as much it kept me from knowing what I could become. When I felt you slipped I talked to Hanna and asked her that if ever you were to leave me and that she saw I could fall to take the kids and care for them.  S: A wise decision my love. She and our friend will be perfect for that.  R: Not if you died Sonya... but if you had left to Barion  S: I..... Though as much.  R: I love them with all my heart but I honestly can’t say if I could not do to them what I have done to those babies of the barbarian village. I fear myself Sonya and what I could become  S: with me around you don't have to fear anything. And I will be there....until death do us part.
    She smiled softly again
    S: And hopefully I will die of old age.  R: Forgive me for what I am about to say, but I sometimes wish you would survive me  S: Only time can say if that will happen or not.  R: I know
    She looked to the inn then back to me and smiled playfully
    S: do you feel like spending time in the inn tonight?  R: would I ever refuse?
    She smiled again
    S: I guess not. I'll get us a key.
    As I nodded she took my hand and we walked toward the Inn. We picked the first room we had ever shared together. I wont go into the details but that night was filled with passion and love for each other as we shared ourselves through out this blissful night. I love her more today than I have ever loved her and I made it felt that night. She slept soundly in my arms as I watched her sleep until my eyes couldn’t bare it anymore.
    I still remember every thing every word and every touch from our talk to ... the Morning. Maybe it's time I start to reconnect myself with Folian. She may be the only one to keep me good, but he may be the only one to take away this curse that I suspect he gave me for rebuking him. I love her to much to fall, and yet still too much to maybe prevent me from falling.
    *he puts the quill down and looks at his children playing in the grass in front of his house, Sonya sitting and resting her head against his arm. He gently turns his head and kisses her as she looks up to him*
    E ceela aey lae synsynir sa ceela, sa amemcw.
    *He looks back at his children enjoying this peaceful moment*